A Bleak Dawn
by Leo's Lair
Summary: Not everything is clear cut: black and white, right and wrong, good and bad.
1. Chapter 1 Does He Love Me?

**_Disclaimer_**: I do not own Harry Potter, if I owned the Harry Potter series books 4-7 would not have been written in the way they were.

**_Author's Note_**: I have completed this story, as a rule I never like publishing a story without completing it. There is some debate on whether or not to write a sequel. If I do write one, know I will not publish it until it is at least 90% of the way done, mostly so I dont end up torturing my readers by long periods of not posting. I will post a chapter a week or so at a time. Two chapters will possibly be posted in the same week. This story is only 7 chapters long. I love reading reviews, even if it's just one word so please tell me what you think.

**_Summary_**: Not all things are clear cut, black and white, good and bad, right and wrong.

I'd like to dedicate this story to my best friend Patty and my cousin Monica, without their support I dont know if I'd have continued writing stories as long as I have. Thank you guys, you mean the world to me.

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Chapter One

**Does He Love Me?**

May 21, 1979

The camera flash blinded them all for a brief moment before Sirius burst into laughter while the camera man readied another shot. "So when's the divorce?" James took a swipe at him but his best friend and best man ducked. "How much did he pay you to marry him, Lily? I need to know how much it will cost for me to get a wife," he joked to the beautiful red-head at his side.

"Like any woman would be stupid enough to marry you," Helen Thatcher said shifting the weight of her nearly one-year-old daughter, Bethany.

Sirius looked wounded as the camera man called for their attention. "Yes, yes, very amusing, please only three more pictures and then we are done." The exasperated man said. The group laughed before the flash blinded them once again. The gray-haired hunchbacked man spoke again. "Now I need all the bridesmaids and groomsmen,"

"That means you too, Helen!" called Lily firmly as the woman how had been half hiding behind the camera man took a step back.

"But I wasn't—"

"You were too!" Sirius said jumping off the platform and grabbing her by the arm. "Come along now, mon belle,"

Helen made a face at him as he led her towards the platform. "It's '_ma_ belle,' for the feminine version, if you're going to use French use it properly."

"Je regretté, tu est très, très belle," He bowed low, her hand in his.

She snorted and Bethany squealed and leaned forward, her tiny fist forming around the black hair. He let out a squeak. "Easy there, Beth. You might hurt him," she said detaching the fingers.

"A one-year-old can hardly hurt me!" Sirius scoffed indignantly.

"Of course not, Padfoot, the person would have to be at least two," James joked as the camera man grumbled something about quitting.

Helen shook her head and stepped up on the platform, at the end of the line. In front of her stood the bridesmaids and the maid of honor who had been in the previous shot. Bethany let out a cry of glee, clapping her hands. "She's clapping for you Lily," called the brown-haired woman as the Marauders settled in place.

Lily grinned looking over, her green eyes sparkling with joy. "I think she just likes being the center of attention so she's drawing it back to her,"

"Please!" exclaimed the camera man loudly causing Helen to flinch a little. "Settle down…smile,"

"Say dog treats!" Sirius shouted as the camera flashed. (James decked him afterwards.) Three more flashes and they were done (the camera man letting out the happiest sigh in the world.) "Now, where's the food?"

Remus laughed. "Always thinking with your stomach aren't you?"

"Better that than other parts!" James said helping Lily off the tiny platform they had been standing on.

Lily grumbled playfully. "I'm beginning to wonder why I agreed to marry you,"

"You were drunk," Sirius slung his arm over her shoulder.

The red-head arched her eyebrow. "Of course, how else would I have even considered matrimony with this fool," The group chuckled; Lily's eye catching Helen who was smiling wistfully at the group. "Come here, Meg, I should be in company that has a greater combined IQ than a five-year-old." Lily pushed her way over to the brunette.

Helen grinned at the shocked look on the men's faces. "Hey! I'll have you know that we are very intelligent," Peter retorted lamely.

Sirius picked up the slack however. "Yeah! We graduated from Hogwarts!"

"With barely Acceptable grades,"

Lily linked arms with Helen and began to pull her away from the crowd. "You looked a bit lonely over there,"

"Of course not!" Helen denied as Bethany fought to get down. "Beth if I set you down you're going to crawl off," The girl whined at her mother.

The red-head laughed. "Spell a leash around her, that way she won't get too far," Helen paled drastically, her mind flashing to the past when she had been held prisoner for three months in a Death Eater's home. Lily wanted to hurt herself as she watched the girl unconsciously shiver. "Merlin, Helen, I'm sorry…"

She shook her head, trying to hide the onset of tears with a smile. "I'm fine, Lily." The brown-eyes couldn't quite meet the green. "Your husband is looking for you," she lied nodding towards the group of Marauders who had just bursting into loud laughter.

"Why don't I take Bethany?" Lily said holding her arms out for the child.

"She'll ruin your dress,"

"This little tyke? Never, she can only make it look better!" Lily said causing the child to clap her hands and lean for the red-head.

Helen frowned before handing the child over. "Behave yourself, Beth."

Bethany let out a squeal, poking her finger at one of the sparkling gems in Lily's red hair. Lily smiled. "We'll be fine, go and get something to drink," The brunette didn't answer. "I'm going to go make sure my husband isn't blowing anything up," Lily said walking towards James and his friends. She could believe she was that stupid in brining up the past. Her face must have looked troubled because when she got to the group (Remus happily taking Bethany off of her hands) James asked her what was wrong immediately. "I said something stupid to Helen,"

Sirius' eyes flashed something inexplicable before searching for the brunette. "What happened?" Remus questioned.

Lily felt her eyes tear up, not able to believe the stupidity of what she said. "Bethany wanted to stand and try to walk but Meg was reluctant, I suggested a magical leash,"

James, Remus, and Sirius paled before Sirius immediately headed over towards the brunette girl, who was pulling away from the crowd and heading into the gardens. "I don't understand," Peter said.

The raven-haired man pulled his wife to him. "When Helen was with the…the Death Eaters Rosier kept her on a leash, so she couldn't ever run away." Lily closed her eyes, berating herself for the stupidity. "Don't get so upset at yourself, Lils, it's a fact that you didn't really need to remember,"

"I should have though…" Lily whispered. Peter and Remus carefully stepped away, leaving the couple in a bit more of a private atmosphere. "She was practically a Marauder herself, James. I can remember that Sirius and Remus hate talking about their families for obvious reasons that they both were disowned, I can remember useless and useful facts about Peter like he's allergic to green-beans and that his parents died in our sixth year when Voldemort attacked a village. But for Merlin's sake, James, I couldn't remember how those Death Eaters kept Helen with them for three months?" her voice was soft but the tears in her eyes spoke volumes at how upset she was.

He pressed his lips onto her forehead. "It's all right; we've all done our share of stupid things."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Helen pulled away from the party, trying not to cry. Slipping into the garden, the brown-haired girl fought to control the images that had begun to flash across her mind.

"_Well, well, well, what have we got here?" a voice dripping with malice said. "Malfoy, one's still alive."_

"_Then kill her and come back…"_

_A slim cold finger traced her cheek and she tried to pull away but couldn't, the bonds that had kept her from fighting while they raped her were still in place. "Feisty, I like you." The person appraised after a moment._

"_Rosier, now! The Dark Lord won't be kept waiting, kill her and get it over with!"_

"_No," the man said with a flick of his wand. She was on her feet in seconds her head swimming with pain. "I want to keep her,"_

_A figure in black was next to the one who had been examining her in an instant, the masks still firmly planted on her face. "He said no prisoners,"_

"_She won't be a prisoner, I want a new toy, my old one broke." The man sounded like he was pouting._

She squeezed her eyes shut but to no avail, her mind continued to turn over the horrifying experience.

"_What kept you?" Rosier asked snidely._

_She swallowed hard, her throat aching from the tightening collar he had placed around her neck. "I was delayed by Mistress Lestrange," she forced the words out politely. Delayed wasn't quite the words she would use for it more like: whipped until her back had more red on it than a lady-bug._

_The face darkened. "I have guests this evening; I want you to be prepared to perform if needed."_

"_No." she spat without thinking. The collar tightened and he tugged on the magical leash he had around her that prevented her from running away. Stumbling forward, Helen fell to her knees in front of them, hissing in pain as she did._

"_What did you say to me?"_

"_No sir,"_

_He slapped her across the face. "You will do as I say!"_

"_If you make me, certain parts on that man will be sorely missed." She growled. It was an empty threat but he didn't know that. When they had brought her to the manor where known Death Eaters stay one of them attempted to rape her in front of Voldemort and she had a burst of accidental magic that cost him his testacies._

_Another hit later he spat on her. "Get out of my sight."_

_Weakly she got to her feet and limped away._

"Helen?" a hand touched her on the shoulder. She let out a frightened squeak and tumbled off the bench she had been sitting on. The person who had touched her was sprawled on the ground as well, a fall caused by accidental magic. "Helen?" the voice wasn't upset it was quite the contrary actually, it was full of caring.

Slowly coming back to reality, she focused on the person that was inching towards her. Piercing blue eyes, shaggy black hair, and white shirt with unbuttoned collar… "Sirius," she said softly, as the features fell into place in her mind.

He nodded, barely four feet from her now. "Are you all right?" Biting her lip, tears leaked from her eyes as she shook her head. Pulling her into a hug his arm rubbed her back, trying to calm her. "Sshh, sshh, it's okay, it's okay."

Sniffing slightly, Helen buried her head into his shoulder, soaking up the comfort she readily sought. When she had been taken by Death Eaters in November of her seventh-year she had thought everything was over for her. Instead of a painful death, she had a painful three months of slavery. The Marauders along with the Order of the Phoenix rescued her when she reached her second month of pregnancy (not that Rosier, her 'master'—she shivered unconsciously at the thought of him—cared about his child growing in her womb.)

"Lily didn't mean to bring up the past, Helen." Sirius whispered softly to her, his hand brushing through her curled hair.

Helen shook her head pulling away. "I know," She took a deep breath, pushing her emotions beneath the surface. "I'm fine."

He stared at her for several moments, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Of course you are." Sirius said sarcastically. He helped her to her feet. "Now Lily and James want to cut that loverly cake of theirs, would you care to join me for a piece?"

"It'll go straight to my hips," Helen feigned happiness. They both knew it was a lie but neither addressed it.

"All the more to love," He said earning him a swat on the arm.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

May 9, 1980

"I will always hate you for making pregnancy look easy," Lily declared to Molly Weasley as the two pregnant women settled on the couch. Helen smiled to herself as she fixed the tea. "How can you handle three older boys and the twins while still being pregnant, ugh, I can barely handle that kicker that's in here," the ruby-haired woman patted her rounded stomach.

"Arthur helps out a great deal and Bill and Charlie love entertaining the twins though they are a handful in a half, Percy is often entertained by his books though. It's not all that difficult. This child is a pain, though. Literally and figuratively," the women shared a laugh as Helen brought the tea tray out. "You really should have let me help you with that, dear."

Helen shook her head glancing at the clock. "Four tea cups, is someone else coming?" Lily asked, trying to lean forward.

Right on cue the doorbell rang causing Molly to laugh. Helen swatted at Lily's hand. "I invited you three over here to relax, not make it harder on yourselves," the brunette said opening the door. "Alice, come in, take a load off—literally." Helen stepped to the side allowing the third pregnant woman in.

Alice Longbottom entered the house looking very nervous. "Hello," the woman said uncomfortably.

"Molly, Lily, I'd like you to meet Alice, she's an old friend from Hogwarts," none of the women missed the slight tremor that occurred in Helen's eyes at the mention of Hogwarts.

"She was in Hufflepuff, the year above us right?" Lily asked as Molly leaned forward to pour the tea.

Helen slapped Molly's hand this time. "Yes she was." The red-haired woman looked her half pouting as the brunette poured tea in each of the four cups. "I brought you here to relax, and for Merlin's sake, Molly I'm not letting you play house in my house."

They laughed at the look on Molly's face. Alice settled in an armchair, her hand on her rounded belly. "Where are the children?" she asked.

"With their father, and that group of James'," Molly answered accepting the steaming cup.

"Thank you, Meg," Lily said as she took the tea cup. "I told James he'll need the practice. The way this brat is kicking in me he'll be a handful of his own."

She smiled sitting down on the couch across from them. "They all are like that."

"How do you three know each other? I know that you were in Ravenclaw, right?" Molly asked after complimenting her on the tea.

Helen smiled weakly, setting her cup down. "Lily and I met on the boats. Both of us knew little of the magical world,"

Alice was surprised. "I thought the name Thatcher was pureblood,"

"It is, my grandfather married a Muggle and turned out two squibs and because of that, my grandfather took his family out of the Wizarding world completely." Helen could remember this like it was yesterday. Unlike most of the more recent memories of Hogwarts she loved remembering the past. "By the time I was born grandfather I thought that the weird things he and I did were only because we believed in them. My older sister, Melody, was practical and continuously told me that magic wasn't really. My grandfather died when I was five and it was forgotten about…"

She smiled weakly before going on. "I remember that I had stopped doing magic in public, my grandfather was trying to get me to control it and I couldn't…at least not very well. But sometimes at night I would be able to make this bright ball of light and change its color. Imagine my parent's surprise when I got the letter from Hogwarts. My father didn't know much about magic because he didn't grow up in the world either, so Lily and I latched onto each other quite quickly. Through her I met the Marauders and they became friends as well," Helen set the teacup on the table. "Alice and I met in Herbology during fifth year, she was staying after to get extra help and Frank was there. He was a master in Herbology and we all got along wonderfully,"

The conversation took another turn and soon another and another before it landed on the subject of husbands. While the three married women spoke of theirs (Lily saying that sometimes she wondered what she ever saw in James) Helen busied herself with cleaning the dishes, not wanting to intrude.

"So, when are you going to get married, Helen?" called Molly from the living room.

Helen nearly dropped the teacup she was washing by hand. "What?"

"Come now, you've got to get married at sometime, I'm sure the moment people heard you were thinking about dating you'd have a line out the door," Lily said before bursting into giggles at the ashen look on her friend's face.

"How about Sirius?" Alice evilly teased.

Molly clapped her hands together. "Yes, Sirius likes you a great deal, you should marry him,"

Helen shook her head turning around, Sirius' laughing and caring face burning into her head. "You three are insane, _me_ marry _Sirius_…what did I put in that tea? A Confoundous potion? You're all mad,"

Lily smirked. "Is that why you're blushing?"

Her hands flew to her face, forgetting that her hands were wet and soap bubbles now dripped down her cheeks. "You all are horrible," she mumbled turning her back to them. They laughed and continued onto a different conversation but her mind was still turning over the possibility.

When they started to leave one by one Lily was the last, struggling to her feet. Helen helped her and started to bid her goodbye but stopped short. "Lily," she said swallowing hard. The red-head looked at her with a smile. "Does…do you think he…I mean…does—"

"Does Sirius like you in that way?" she completed with a broad grin.

Helen's face flushed a vivid red causing Lily to laugh and hug her (despite the round belly preventing them for getting very close.) "We're just friends; he doesn't like me in that way. He can't, I mean he—"

Lily's hand slapped over her mouth. "Hush, Meg." She poked the brunette in the side causing her to squeak. "Why don't you just ask him?" Lily suddenly jumped, touching her stomach. "I think the little tyke wants to go home and hear his dad complain of the wild twins."

The brunette smiled. "Have a great night, Lily. Please be safe in going home,"

"When will Beth get back?"

"Remus and Sirius are bringing her over in a little while,"

Lily kissed her on the cheek. "You'll be all right?"

"Of course, now scat; I'm sure James is worrying himself into a frenzy. He might think I ran away with you to keep the little brat in there as my own." Helen joked. Lily laughed before walking to the curb and making the Knightbus appear. She shut the door as soon as the Knightbus took off. Leaning against the comforting solid wood, Helen hugged herself, her thoughts turning over harshly. "Impossible," she whispered to herself walking back to the living room to tidy up. Seconds after she started there was a knock on her door. Inexplicably her heart clenched with fear as she turned sharply. "Who—who is it?" she called, fingering her wand.

"It's us, Helen," called Remus' soft voice.

She let out a relieved sigh, heading towards the door. Peeking out through the stained-glass window she confirmed that it was indeed her two friends, holding her sleeping daughter in their arms. "Hi," she whispered opening the door and stepping aside to let them in. "She looks pooped." Helen commented running her fingers through the brown mess of hair that was growing on her daughter.

"She's pooped, geeze, with her and those twins it was like having five kids, let alone the other three Weasley boys, I don't know how they do it." Sirius said shaking his head.

"I'll go put her in her crib," Remus said quietly.

Helen watched him walk towards the back room, leaving her alone with Sirius. Turning to face him she wasn't sure whether her pounding heart was fear or exhilaration. A blind man could see that she cared more for Sirius and enjoyed his company more than any of the other Marauders but men still particularly terrified her.

She cleared her throat. "I um…" he threw himself on the couch with his quirky grin. "I have something to ask you, Sirius,"

"Yes that outfit looks great?" he said jokingly.

She looked at the jeans and baggy sweater she was wearing. Snorting she busied herself with straightening up the living room. "Lily said something particular to me today,"

Sirius laughed. "Did she now? What does she want you to do, dye your hair red? I heard her trying to convert Mrs. Longbottom,"

Helen's face flushed slightly. "No. Um…she thinks I should start dating." Fiddling with the couch pillows she awaited his answer.

His guffaw hurt her ears. "Why would you go and do a thing like that?"

"Bethany needs a father, I don't want her having a negative impression of guys," Helen lied shifting around.

"How can she, she's got the Marauders as role models,"

"Exactly what I meant," she retorted sitting down, her knees pulled to her chest. "I just…I think I'm ready if the right guy is interested…" Helen couldn't bring herself to look at him. Her heart was pounding. Why was she doing this again?

"Are you serious, what guy wouldn't be interested in you?"

Her brow arched as she managed to meet his blue eyes. "A twenty-one-year-old woman, orphan no less, with a two-year-old child, yeah the guys will be lining around the block," she retorted, tightening her grip on her knees.

"Well…I actually know someone who is interested in you." Sirius said with a smile.

"You do?" _Please be you, please be you, please be you,_ Helen found herself chanting in her head again and again.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "Actually yes, his name is Rodger, he was at the wedding."

Her heart sank. "Really?"

"Yeah, he loves kids, I could mention something to him if you want,"

She stood up and smiled, blinking back her tears rapidly. "Sure, I mean…it couldn't hurt." Giving him an even tighter smile she half rushed to the back room claiming a need to check-up on Bethany.

Remus was just tucking her in. "Someone woke up and needed a diaper change," he whispered. Nodding she peered over the crib. "Are you all right?"

"Disappointed, nothing more. Have a goodnight, Remus. Tell Sirius goodnight for me," Helen said winding the music box that was near Bethany's crib.

"You're not coming back out?" The brunette shook her head setting the box down, the melody filling the air. He leaned into hug her and she froze for a moment before hugging him back. "Goodnight, Helen."

"Night Moony," Helen said before humming along with the music. "I was really stupid, you know that Beth? I actually thought he could care about me, little one, as more than a friend. I guess I was just being idealist. He's a friend nothing more," Bethany mumbled and shifted. Smiling she pulled the green blanket up around the girl. "Goodnight, little one. I love you,"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

July 31, 1980

8:06pm

She rushed into the waiting room of St. Mungos; her heels clicking loudly on the tile. Sliding into the receptionist desk Helen brushed her falling hair off her shoulder. "A friend of mine, Lily Potter was brought in?" she questioned.

The petite blonde shook her head. "Another one, there is a waiting room down that way for the group. You're the fourth one for that group,"

Holding her purse in her hand, Helen hopped down the hall, trying to take the heels off. She was planning on going to the Muggle Theatre with Rodger on another date (ever since they had been introduced they had started going out—him understanding completely her need to go slowly) when they ran into Professor McGonagall in Hogsmeade telling them that 'Albus just flooed, telling her that the Potters are in labor.' The hearsay had been confusing at first but she knew that she had to get there.

The waiting room held four people, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Headmaster Dumbledore. Remus was sitting in a chair watching Sirius pace up and down nervously while Peter sat, his legs bouncing up and down. She was about to announce her presence when Sirius looked up and noticed her.

"HELEN!" he exclaimed before stopping short and staring at her.

"We've been trying to get in touch with you for two hours," Peter said with a smile. "I can't believe that she's been in labor this long…"

"It could be longer," commented Remus shaking his head.

"You look…nice," Sirius said finally overcoming his muteness.

She blushed looking down at her black dress. The skirt was long and flowing that lead up to a smooth, form fitting shirt with a square-neck top and cap-sleeves. Her necklace was a black choker and her hair was up in an elegant French-knot but several strands had fallen when she found out what happened and attempted to run to the nearest floo while Rodger paid for their meal. There was a blue silk ribbon around her waist and she was now barefoot because her heels were in her hand.

Peter smirked. "Where were you off too looking like that?"

"I um…" she was saved from answering because James came running into the room.

"Prongs?" Sirius half launched himself towards the entryway.

The raven-haired man looked shocked but overjoyed. "It's a boy…it's a boy!" he exclaimed.

The Marauders cheered loudly. Sirius suddenly lifted Helen up in the air and spun her around in circle before planting a kiss on her lips. Her first reaction to him grabbing her was to fight but she stopped that instinct and was shocked when he pressed his lips to hers. Her jaw dropped open slightly when he pulled away, his blue eyes dancing with mirth.

"Is that the way we're celebrating tonight?" another voice asked from the doorway (James had stepped into the room and was staring along with Remus and Peter in shock at what Sirius did.)

Helen jumped away from Sirius, recognizing the voice. "Rodger," she said looking at him panicked. She didn't kiss Sirius…would Rodger be angry with her?

Her fear clearly showed on her face because the brown-haired man laugh and quirked a grin up. "Because I want some of that celebration too," he said playfully, taking her hand and spinning her towards him. He theatrically leaned her down into a kiss before pulling her back up. "Who wants to kiss her next?"

She hit him with her purse laughing. "Congratulations, James!" she threw her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks Helen," James said. "You guys can't come in for another hour but you'll see little Harry in a while,"

"Harry?" Remus said smiling.

The raven haired man grinned broadly. "Harry James Potter," he boasted.

"Hate to interrupt," there was another voice at the door and Frank Longbottom was there with a broad grin on his face. "Frank!" exclaimed Helen. "Is Alice all right?"

"She's fine, the nurse at the front desk told me you might be here." He smirked. "Would you like to see our son?" he asked.

Helen's jaw dropped open. "He's born already?" she exclaimed.

"Yup, born last night, July 30 at 11:31pm,"

She squealed and hugged him as well. "Let me see, let me see!"

"Women," Peter joked.

Helen stuck her tongue out at him before turning to James. "I'll be back to see Harry too, okay?"

James nodded. "I will go back to my wife," he bowed out gracefully.

Helen tossed her shoes and purse on a chair and smiled at Rodger. "Mind terribly if you stayed here?"

Rodger shook his head. "Of course not, I haven't seen you this happy since Beth took her first step,"

With a chaste kiss on his cheek she skipped from the room, but not before spying the look of horror and shock on Sirius' face. Not wishing to figure that out, she followed Frank to the viewing room. "His name is Neville. Neville Algie Longbottom,"

"Neville, Nev…I love it." She said clapping her hands happily. "Why didn't you contact me when she went into labor?"

"Actually we were going to, but in the midst of flooing everyone else, meaning the whole Longbottom family," Frank rolled his eyes causing her to laugh. "He was born before we could get to you. And this was the first moment I could tear myself away…Neville…Neville almost didn't make it."

Her face paled, her eyes widening at the thought. "What do you mean?"

"The umbilical cord was tangled around his neck. According to the Healer he choked himself to death but then," tears shone in Frank's eyes. "They set him on a table but couldn't get the cord off. Suddenly it untwisted and he let out a huge wail."

"Magic?"

"My boy has a strong will to survive, he magicked it off himself," he said as they stepped into the elevator.

"I'm so happy for you,"

"Where's your little tyke?" he asked curiously.

Helen smiled at him. "At the Weasleys with the twins, I was supposed to see Macbeth with Rodger"

"You two getting serious?" Helen blushed shrugging. Frank shook his head. "You do know that Sirius is sweet on you right?"

She looked at him sharply. "What?"

"Maybe it's not my place but he likes you,"

Her jaw dropped. "But he introduced me to Rodger! He just as good as said he didn't like me in that way." She let out an irritated moan. "Why are men so hard to understand?"

"We say the same thing about women," Frank guided her to a window. She laughed weakly. "There he is," he pointed to a baby that was wrapped in a yellow blanket with the Longbottom-family crest on it. "There's our little Neville,"

Helen pressed against the glass staring at the little child. "He is beautiful." She whispered, remembering the day Bethany was born. "Thank you Frank for showing him to me,"

Frank grinned broadly. "Alice wanted to see you but the Healers will only let family members in right now."

"Give her my love and you three better drop by when you get out of this place. I have a few things that might be useful for the little tyke in there."

"Will do,"

They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment before she hugged him again. "I'm so happy for you…I must go back to see if they are ready to let us see Harry,"

"James' boy?"

She nodded. "Yup! Can you believe that you two have children only a day apart? What are the odds?" They shared a laugh. "Go! Go get back to your wife, give her a hug for me and tell her congratulations."

He smiled as he said goodbye and walked away. She turned back to the babe and her fingers lightly touched the glass. "You are a lucky little boy," she whispered before walking away slowly.

She was in the elevator and the doors were closing when someone put their hand in it and they opened once more. Stepping aside it took a moment for Helen to realize who had just got into the elevator next to her. They both were frozen staring at each other.

"Severus…" her voice was low and her heart started pounding. Helen half backed into a corner staring at him.

Worry etched his face as he glanced around. "Helen…are you ill? Why are you here?"

"No I'm not sick…Alice and Frank's boy was born yesterday." She whispered all the memories of where and how they had become friends were racing through her mind.

He had found her, after one of her many beatings in Rosier's "care" and healed her. This became a routine when she started going to him for help. He had put on a face around other Death Eaters but helped her when she needed it.

"What are you doing here?" she glanced to his left arm.

He pressed the button for his floor. "They needed a few potions their abysmal potions maker couldn't brew,"

For several moments they had fallen silent. She spoke first. "Isn't that dangerous?" He looked at her through an arched brow. "They do random security checks, what if they…I mean," she cleared her throat. He wasn't a good man, he was still a Death Eater but a part of her would always care about the man that helped her. _"Never forget what I am, Helen,"_ his voice echoed in her head. _But it's not all you can be,_ she rebutted just as she had the night he had spoken those words.

"…immunity." His voice crashed her back into reality.

"Oh," she acted like she knew what he was saying. The doors opened on his floor and he stepped out, bidding her farewell as he did. The doors were about to close when she stopped them. "Severus," she called. He looked back with an impatient look. "I never got a chance to thank you…" she held the gaze for a moment before dropping it.

"Think nothing of it," his silky voice drifted her way.

The doors closed with a click and she slid down into a sitting position against the wall. Why was life so complicated?


	2. Chapter 2 My Child

**Chapter Two**

**My Child**

August 20, 1980

Helen stumbled to the door, Bethany giggling in the background as she continued to throw her cereal on the floor. "Yeah?" she asked swinging the door open. She blinked and took a step back. "Headmaster?"

"Now, now, Ms. Thatcher, no need for the formalities, you are no longer my student," the old man's voice was forcibly amused.

She cleared her throat as Bethany made a loud squeal in the kitchen. "Um…come in, Beth is a little…she's being a brat. I'll be back." Helen said shaking her head and half flying to kitchen as a loud crash was heard. "BETH!" she shouted when she saw the cereal upturned on the floor. Her little two-year-old girl clapped her hands happily. "Merlin, little one, I don't know what to do with you." With a flick of her wand the child was clean from the cereal. Lifting her out of the highchair, Helen brought her into the living room and placed her in her playpen. "Make yourself comfortable," she said to Dumbledore.

"Thank you my dear,"

She swallowed hard and went back to the kitchen. Thanking whatever god was out there that she had magic; she cleaned the kitchen and put the bowl in the sink. "How may I help you?" she asked coming back out.

"Please have a seat, Ms. Thatcher,"

"Helen," she corrected sitting across from him. Helen felt her heart rate speed up. _What is he doing here?_ She thought nervously. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sure you are aware of the attack on Budleigh Babberton," he said.

She blinked. "Yes, at the beginning of August."

"We have discovered why they attacked there,"

"Of what importance is that to me?"

"They were looking for you, Helen."

She blinked, staring at him. "What?"

His blue eyes were kind but there was no twinkle in them. "Budleigh Babberton was the village you lived in while growing up, correct?"

"One of them,"

"Your house was on Kane and Sable, number 27,"

Helen swallowed hard. "Yes…why are they looking for me?"

"My informant has no knowledge of why, only that they were," Dumbledore bowed his head.

Bethany let out a squeal and banged a toy on the floor of her playpen. Helen glanced at her before looking back at Dumbledore. "Informant?"

He nodded. "The fact of the matter is, there was another attack on the summer village you lived in as a child." Her jaw dropped. "We must take measures to hide you until we discover why they are searching for you."

"W-w-wait, what?" she stuttered.

"We must put you into hiding. For your protection,"

She looked at her daughter in shock. "Ma-ma," the child said before giggling hysterically.

Tears burned in her eyes and she spoke after several moments of tense silence. "When?"

Dumbledore's face turned grave. "As soon as we possibly can, for all we know he might already know you are here,"

"Will I be able to say goodbye to my friends?"

Dumbledore nodded once again. "They shall arrive with myself. Would you like some help packing?"

"No." she declined, standing up. She couldn't meet his eye. "I'll be ready by nightfall." Helen swallowed hard.

"We will merely close up this house. Take only what you need, the house is already provided as will your new identities," Dumbledore stood.

"New identities…"

"Yes." He sighed. "I am sorry, Helen."

Her eyes met him. The words rang true of another night. The night the Order of the Phoenix and the Marauders had rescued her. He had said the same words to her. He was sorry. He was always sorry.

"Good day, Headmaster." Her voice was hollow and cold.

"Good day, Helen,"

She shut the door behind her and shook her head. Why was her life being turned upside down? Her entire family was gone because of the war. She was kidnapped and raped because she had 'amused' some pathetic Death Eater who delighted in torturing her. Her child would always bare the pain of having no father. What made her so special that people kept targeting her? She was nothing. Helen shook her head looking at the living room. _Nothing._

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

October 31, 1980

Brookstone Village

9:40 pm

Helen walked by the front door for the fifth time that evening and reassured herself that it was locked properly. She hated Halloween, completely and totally loathed it. Originally it had been a fun day to dress up (especially while going to school with the Marauders, their costumes never got old) but her last year at Hogwarts everything seemed to have gone wrong. Her parent's death was on Halloween, closely quartered with the attack that had taken her.

Shivering she backtracked and made absolutely positive that all of the locks were firmly in place (logic obviously not applying because few complex charms and the locks would have fallen away.) Something was wrong and she knew it but didn't know what. Her soul, her instinct was telling her that she should take Bethany and run but she didn't know why.

Shaking it off as nerves, Helen wandered back up the stairs and into Bethany's room. The toddler was fast asleep. With a sigh, she brushed some hair off her child's face and longed for her daughter to see James and Lily's son again.

The small child had only seen her suedo brother a handful of times before Dumbledore required her to go into hiding and Helen truly wished that Bethany had grown more attached to Harry.

Her mind continued to drift and soon shifted on the subject of Sirius. He had been the only one of the Marauders who literally forced their safe house to move because Sirius had attempted to find her.

"He's silly, isn't he, Beth?"

Helen watched her daughter shift, her arm clenching around a particular stuffed animal. Tears filled the mother's eyes as the reasoning behind giving Bethany that particular stuffed animal came to her head. It was a panther, a magical panther with glowing, coal eyes and a white stripe looking more like a snake going up its tale. Like the stuffed animals the Marauders gave Bethany not long after she was born (one animal for each of their animagus forms) this one was of an animagus that held close to Helen's heart.

"He's a protector, Beth. He was my protector when I was trapped," several tears fell own her cheeks and soaked into the fabric on the crib's bed. "When not even Sirius could help me, he did. He kept me alive." A bittersweet smile spread across her lips. Like on many occasions when she spoke to her daughter about the man who saved her, Bethany barely moved. "Severus Snape is a great man, despite his abhorrence for humanity. He has his reasons; don't forget it for a moment…" Helen thought back to before she had been taken and how the Marauders treated him, how they still treated him. "Don't ever listen to them, Bethany. Ever. Snape saved your mother's life…Snape helped keep you alive," A knot twisted in her stomach as more tears trickled down her face.

A loud explosion caused her to jerk and Bethany to wake. There was an ever-present rise of screams that snapped Helen into action. Grabbing her child, she raced across the hall to the fireplace and lit it. She threw a handful of green powder in it but nothing happened. Repeating the action, her fear and franticness grew until she gave up. Bethany was silent, still half asleep but also unhappy about being jerked around. The child opened her mouth to let out an unhappy wail but Helen covered her mouth and raced down the stairs.

"Beth, sweetheart, I need you to listen to mommy, can you do that?" she didn't stop moving until she grabbed the clock off the wall. "I need you to stay quiet while I think. Butter and cheese," she said the password but nothing happened. Cursing silently she set her daughter down, searching for something to do. "Bethany," the toddler looked like she was going to go to sleep again, clutching the panther to her. Sweeping the child back into her arms, Helen ran into the basement and hit a portion of the wall revealing a secret room. "I need you to stay here, understand me?"

"Mam," yawned the girl. "W'a w'ong?"

"Something bad it happening, sweetheart, and mommy needs to go find out how to get you out of here," Helen said casting charms on the small space.

Fear lit in her daughter's eyes. "Mama, I scward, don go." She tried to grab onto Helen but the woman stepped out of reach.

"I love you, Bethany," she said before closing the door.

The hardest thing she ever had to do was to walk away from her daughter screaming in the room. Helen was out of the house in no time, barely grabbing a two-way mirror that she and Sirius had been speaking through for a while. She shouted his name into the mirror but got nothing.

The grown woman stopped short in shock, staring at the burning remains of the village that had sheltered her. Screams and cries rose through the night as a thunderstorm rolled in, almost as if Nature herself was crying in outrage against what was occurring.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Grimmaud Palace

9:35 pm

It was a mad house, and that saying had nothing to do with the ancestry that was involved with Number 12 Grimmaud Palace. It was a mad house for two reasons and two reasons only: first, it was the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix and second, Voldemort was attacking the Ministry of Magic. Sirius hopped down the staircase three steps at a time, his robes billowing behind him like a cape in one of those super-hero stories Lily was always telling them about. He met up with James and the rest of their group and immediately apparated to the ministry, the two-way mirror lying forgotten in his room and no one heard the screams that were coming from the other side.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Brookstone Village

10:29 pm

The wind was blowing hard and thunder crashed in the pitch black sky. Lightening periodically lit up the ruined village even more-so than the flames that burned the houses, casting an orange-yellow glow on the hills surrounding them. Along those hills, two people stood alone in the static of magic and hatred that was so thick in the air that even Muggles would have felt it. A magical shield surrounded the two and both were attacking each other. There was a single sound that could be heard over the thunder clashing: the sound of a child's screaming cries, the only other living being in the now destroyed village.

Helen braced herself as another gust of wind threatened to topple her over. Her long hair was now sheered short, caught by a stray slashing hex in her battle with the man across from her. Her dark brown eyes were alight with fire and anger whereas her palms were literally blazing with it; the slender wand in her hand was sparking.

The man, a young adult, was rather tall with dark-brown hair that was dancing wildly with the wind. His sharp hazel-green eyes burned red with ire and a gash was on his forehead, bleeding from an attack the woman had sent at him. He was clothed in dark robes that hung open just slightly; his shirt seemed was a creamy white and he wore thick dark black-brown boots that were made out of dragon hide. His palms were glowing with the same type of anger he felt, his wand's tip shining brightly.

The wind let out a loud howl as the young woman dogged a blast of magic sent at her by the man. "Is that the best you can do?" she taunted tossing a flaming ball of fire at him.

He dove out of the way and landed hard on the ground. "I've done much worse to you before," he threw back. "How's my child doing?"

She snarled at him. "She is _my_ child you bastard!" she sent a body-binding curse his way.

He side stepped the hex, an evil smile on his face. "Can't have a child without a father, Helen, even you know that,"

Letting out a cry of rage she flung an Entrails-Expelling-curse his way. It looked as if it was going to hit him when he ducked at the last moment while sending an unexpected curse her way. The spell hit her full-force and she flew back, her spine slamming into a tree. She let out a gasp and slid to the ground, making a splash in the mud.

His evil chuckle hit her ears. "I bested you before, what makes you think that you can over take me this time?"

To her horror the man of her nightmares, Evan Rosier, made his way towards her in the slinky-stalk she had grown accustomed to in her stay in Voldemort's prison. "You must know now Helen, I own you," his ebony wand flicked her way and she was bound by invisible ropes that she had no strength to even fight against.

Her child's wails grew louder as if the child knew the terrible fate in store for her mother.

Rosier knelt down in front of Helen. His hand traced her cheek and she wrenched it away. Firmly he gripped her chin between his fingers. "You. Are. Mine." He growled before pressing his lips to hers.

Tears spread down her face as he kissed her. Helen pulled against the bonds but she knew from experience it was futile. His hand drifted down over her body before hiking up her skirt. "Stop," She pleaded as he came up for air.

"Never," He hissed, drawing his nails down her thy leaving four long red marks with tiny beads of blood pushing through.

There were several loud cracks and he jerked away from her, whirling around. The closest crack was right behind him and they saw it was Wilkes, a death-eater she became acquainted with almost three years ago when she was Rosier's personal 'toy.'

"He wants you now. Said you had your fun. He dropped the anti-apparition ward."

"I heard." Rosier said staring at the town as lightening lit up the sky again.

Gold and purple-robed Aurors were flooding the town, checking for survivors as red-robed Order of the Phoenix members raced up the hill towards the three people.

"Fuck, the Phoenix bastards." He whirled around to face her. "Where is my child?" Fear coursed through Helen's body. He kneeled down in front of her, his hand around her throat. "Where is she?"

"She's not your child." Spat the woman.

"Rosier now!" Wilkes shouted sending a curse at the first of the red-robed Phoenix members cleared Helen's shield that had encompassed the fighting field.

Rosier's wand twitched and cuts appeared all over Helen's body. She let out a cry of pain, gasping for air as the blood fled from her body through each part of sliced skin. "You will tell me."

Helen mustered up the largest glare she could manage. She spit at him. He growled like on of his werewolf-friends. Wiping the spit from his face he slapped her across the face. Her cheek slammed into the tree trunk. Splinters dug into her skin and the cheek split open. A gasp of pain escaped from her lips.

"Never,"

He cursed. "Anytime today, Rosier!" Wilkes shouted as some of the purple-robed men cleared the field of fire he had used to cut of the Phoenix members.

"Not without that brat!" Rosier exclaimed jumping to his feet. "What was her name?" He kicked Helen in the side.

Wilkes ducked the first of the onslaught of curses that would fly to them. "ROSIER!"

"_Accio child!"_ It was quite obvious the Death-Eater didn't know whether or not the spell would work.

She was nauseated when she saw all the macerated children from her town flew towards Rosier. Helen's head rolled to the side and vomited as the naked, burn, cut, and decapitated bodies hit Aurors and Phoenix people on their way to Rosier.

"FUCK YOU, ROSIER!" Wilkes was sent to the ground by one of the bodies.

There was a wailing cry and to her horror she saw her two-year-old child loose her cloak on the way to the man who sired her. "You can have your turn later." snarled Rosier. He had been knocked off his feet from the dead children. "There you are," he grabbed the only alive child and looked at the crying child. "What's her name?"

"Bethany…fight Bethany, fight." She gasped as tears poured down her face. Her two-year-old looked at her incomprehensively, the pudgy little face screwed up in a horrible sob.

"Bethany…" He had the gall to smirk at the baby. The smile on his face was sinister and frightening to the young mother. "The Dark Lord will love you…" he said standing up.

"He's got a kid!" a voice shouted.

"Bethany…child, Beth fight…." Helen begged her daughter.

In that moment two things happened. Wilkes (who had stood up and killed three people) was hit from behind with a sickly green light. He fell to his knees, his eyes still wide open. The second thing was her daughter preformed accidental magic except Helen wasn't too sure that it was accidental this time. Bethany had stopped crying, her eyes focusing on her mother who was slowly bleeding to death. In a bright flash Rosier found himself on the ground again, his head bleeding. Bethany had landed on the ground and let out a cry before she crawled towards Helen.

Any other moment Helen would have been amused at the sight of her daughter crawling. Her daughter, who at nine months went from crawling to walking, was moving towards her as if she had digressed in age. "Ma-ma!" the little girl clung to the torn clothes with her tiny little hands.

"Sshh, it's all right, Beth…it's all right." She wanted to hold her daughter, she wanted to comfort the girl but she was unable to do anything but speak as Bethany got blood all over her hands.

"Ma-ma urt." She said pointing at one of the many cuts that was oozing blood.

"Yes…yes mama's hurt." Helen said softly, her eyes straying to Rosier. He was fighting Moody and a few others. "I need you to do something for me, Beth." The large brown eyes of her two-year-old looked up at her. "Be strong, Beth….be—"

"HELEN!" there was a cry from the field and she looked up weakly.

Rosier had taken Moody down…how the hell did he do that? Averting her attention to a person running towards her, Bethany let out a tiny squeal. "Padfoot, damn it man!" came another shout.

"Sirius…" she whispered.

"Pa'oot," Bethany looked towards the man as he fell to his knees beside the two women.

"Padfoot, are you—dear Merlin….Helen…shit…" a familiar face came towards her. There was a flick of the wand and she crumbled forward as Sirius Black took her daughter from beside her. "Easy Helen,"

"Rosier?" she ground out, her breaths shallow as James Potter tried to heal the cuts.

"Dead…the Aurors took him out." Sirius was the one that answered as Bethany squirmed in his arms, determined to go to 'ma-ma.' "Take it easy, Helen, we'll get you patched up in no time…"

"Take care of her, James…please…" Helen whispered as she slowly slipped unconscious from blood loss.

"Shit," James rose to his feet. "LILY!" he shouted lifting Helen up with him.

His red-haired wife raced towards him. He hated the look of horror on his wife's face as she looked at their mutual friend. "Merlin, James is that Helen?"

"I need your portkey to Hogwarts, I can't stop the bleeding." He said, fear clear in his hazel blue eyes.

Sirius was debating about staying or coming but he didn't get to make the decision because Lily grabbed his hand and put it on the portkey she wore around her neck. "Bethany needs someone to watch her," was the only explanation before the portkey lurched them forward.

They landed in Hogsmeade and James changed into a stag. Lily, having done this before with her husband, held Helen in place as she climbed onto his back. They bound towards the school leaving Bethany crying for her mother in Sirius' arms. Sirius was standing stunned for several moments before he began to walk forward, realizing the child was putting tiny handprints of blood all over him.

"Come on Beth, lets get you cleaned up." He said softly.

Helen had been the person to slap sense into him during seventh year. She was also the person who stood up to him about Snape. His grip on the girl tightened causing the quieted child to let out a squall of displeasure. Forcing himself to calm down, Sirius entered the castle as four people raced by him, one on a magic stretcher and two in wheelchairs, magically altered mind you but they were wheelchairs none the less.

"Mr. Black!" the voice of his old Transfiguration teacher caused him to stop. "Where are you—" she stopped short as he turned around, the toddler squirming to get down instantly saying 'wauk, wauk.' "Miss Thatcher?" the fear in the woman's eyes caused him to swallow hard.

"Only ones we found alive. Rosier…." He whispered the hated name.

Everyone in the Order knew what happened to Helen when she was captured by Voldemort almost three-years ago and how broken she was when they rescued her. The hardened look in McGonagall's eyes caused him to take a step back despite himself, habit of when he had attended school.

"He was going to take her…" Sirius' blue eyes drifted down to the fighting child in his arms.

"Wauk!" the little girl demanded pinching his arm.

"Fine!" he said setting her on the floor.

The child wobbled for a moment before glaring defiantly at the two adults.

"Go to the hospital wing, have Lily or one of the others clean her up before examining her." The old woman said with pursed lips.

Without a word he held out his hand and Bethany took it. Together they began to walk to the hospital wing. Lily had taken the child away from him the moment he entered. Sirius didn't know how long he watched the hustle of the hospital wing before James touched him on the shoulder, causing him to jump.

"Sirius, Helen is asleep. You need sleep." He said quietly.

"Bethany?"

"In a crib next to her mother, come on Sirius, go get some sleep. I'll wake you if anything happens." Reluctantly Sirius left, taking refuge in an old classroom they had set up for people with nowhere to go.

"How is he doing?" James turned around as saw Lily balancing Harry. She had pulled her hair back and their child was playing with it despite his heavy eyes. "The little tyke refused to go back to sleep."

He held out his arms and Lily gratefully handed him over. "He's in shock. I've never seen him so speechless before." They moved towards the back of the infirmary, where their friend lay somewhere on the boarder of life and death.

"Sirius is a fool to deny his love for her." Lily said shaking her head.

Harry let out a tiny cry of glee pulling on James' hair. Lily sighed as they reached Helen's bed. The brunette was seemingly asleep but the cuts that covered her body were still pulsing red, the worst of them wrapped in bandages.

Lily's tear-filled emerald eyes looked at him. "He cast a spell that prevented them from healing her completely."

"Does that mean?" James feared the worst as he untangled Harry's hands from his black hair. He didn't want to hear the answer but he must.

"They give her no more than a week before she bleeds out."

James sat with a thump beside her bed. Harry looked at Helen and then back at his father. He was a smart child, even for a four-month old.

He sighed. "Yes Harry, Helen is sick." The question seemed to be in his child's eye. He was supported by James' arm but was squirming. "No, Harry….she won't be getting better."

Harry blinked at him incomprehensively with his large green eyes.

"James," Lily's voice drew him away from his son's eyes. His wife slid down on the bed beside him.

"How can you handle this so calmly, Lily?" he asked trying to swallow the emotion that were building up in his throat. Helen was dying. After all they had done to protect her since her rescue they had failed. She was dying. One look into Lily's eyes he realized she wasn't calm. In fact she was close to a break-down. "Merlin, Lily, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he whispered as they both fell into a hug. Harry squealed but soon quieted.

He felt his wife's tears soak into his shoulder.

"It's not fair." Her shoulders hitched with sobs. "It's not fair, James. Why her? What the hell does He want with her?"

That same question had plagued his mind as well. "I don't know, Lily." James swallowed hard. "I just don't know."


	3. Chapter 3 Snape and Bethany

**Chapter Three**

**Snape and Bethany**

November 3rd, 1980

It was three days before the school came into uproar. Three days that Sirius had stayed by Helen's bedside. Three days had passed before their spy came stumbling in, sleep-deprived and bitter, as always. Sirius was reading Bethany as story while Helen dozed in and out of consciousness when Severus Snape was half dragged into the room by Dumbledore, insisting he get checked over.

"Padfoot, don't," Remus' voice said as he handed Bethany off to him.

"Pa'foot go wair?" Bethany said in the two-year-old speak.

"To take care of something rotten," he said before stalking towards the man, who, despite himself, was limping. Before Sirius even got control of his senses he reared back and punched Snape in the jaw, sending their 'spy' sprawling to the floor. "You arrogant, slimy asshole!"

"Sirius Black that is enough!" Dumbledore thundered but for once he wasn't afraid of the aging man.

"Black," snarled Snape scrambling to his feet.

"What the fuck kind of spy do you think you are? I bet Voldemort—" (Snape winced, his hand twitching towards his left arm)—"Planned for you to fucking tell about the damn Ministry while he went after Helen."

Something flashed across Snape's face before anger settled there. "Mangy mutt, I've been brewing in his lab for the last bloody week. Even if I had known about the attack on Brookston I couldn't do a fucking thing about!"

"Severus!"

Neither of them paid any attention to Dumbledore, their wands drawn. "Helen is dying, you bastard! You should have done something!"

There it was again. Something that Sirius couldn't place. The coal black eyes flickered towards Remus, who was holding a frozen Bethany, her brown eyes staring at the group as if she understood everything being said.

"—right to look at her!" a fist hit Snape in the jaw and he stumbled back into Dumbledore. Sirius was raving mad. "—true to Voldemort!"

Severus flinched, a pain going through his left forearm, as it always did, when someone used that name. Dumbledore steadied him before turning to Black, who was still ranting and raving. With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore rendered him incapable of speech.

"Fuck what you think, Black." gasped the dark-haired potions master. He had only turned spy since August when he caught wind of the threat to Helen and now he had begun seriously rethinking the plan. At least with the Dark Lord he was rewarded for good deeds and punished for bad. Here, with the bloody Marauders, it didn't matter Severus was always evil in their minds. "If there was anyone I'd turn over to the Dark Lord it'd be you."

"That is enough!"

The two men didn't even listen to him. "Rotting bastard!" Sirius launched himself at Severus.

Unable to ward him off due to the torture he had been put through, Severus tumbled to the ground. Black sent several bloody punches to his face before Severus managed to get one good kick off. It landed in Black's knee. He was clawing and attempting to fend the man off when he felt his air supply get cut off.

The bastard was choking him.

He clawed at Black's face, no so much terrified for his own life as refusing to loose it to Black. However in one movement Black was lifted off of him and he was gasping for air.

"Healer Carter, take him out of the room _**now**_!" Dumbledore's voice was deadly. Severus growled, rolling for his wand but the old man was beside him. Black was half dragged from the room as Dumbledore helped him to his feet. "Get into bed, Severus. I'll send Poppy over to look you over,"

He jerked his arm out of the old man's grip. "I don't need any help." He snarled.

"Beth?" a voice drifted through the tense moment between the Headmaster and his new spy.

There was something other than that twinkle in the infernal man's eyes. "Severus, please, he had quite a shock with Helen and—"

"When are you going to stop making excuses for him, Headmaster?" he growled. "When he kills me or someone else?" He limped over to the bed, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to make it out of the infirmary alone.

Poppy Pomfrey hustled over to him running scanning spells as Severus spotted a toddler walking to him. He sent Madame Pomfrey his most evil of glares as she healed minor cuts and fetched a few potions. There was a tugging at his robes as she set the tray down. He was about to kick whatever it was when he heard a tiny child's voice say:

"S'ape,"

Looking down Helen Thatcher's brat stared up at him with large eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"S'ape," she said again as Pomfrey wrapped a bandage around his arm, which had sustained a minor cut. "Up!" she extended her arms.

"What do you want, you repugnant child?"

Pomfrey snorted. "She's two, Mr. Snape, she can't understand you."

"Up!"

She was smiling at him. "And it seems to me she wants you to hold her,"

His eyebrows arched, his lip forming a sneer. "Up!" the cheeky brat had the gall to insist.

"Go away," he growled glaring at her.

The child glared right back at him tugging on his robes again. "Up, S'ape, peas,"

With a roll of his eyes and a hiss of irritation, he grabbed the back of the toddler's robes and lifted her onto the bed beside him. She clapped her hands happily.

"There, happy, now leave me alone."

Pomfrey snorted again.

"So lady-like," he ground out.

She made a face at him before forcing a smile and walking away.

"Where are you going? Take her!" he exclaimed feeling panic as the beastly child decided his lap was the perfect place to sit.

"She wants you, Mr. Snape. You are confined to the bed for the night."

He could swear he saw a smirk on her face as she went to tend to another patient. He let out a hiss of irritation as the child played with the rips on his robe.

"Go away," he said firmly to the child.

She just looked up at him. "S'ape urt," she said pointing at the bandage on his arm covering his wound.

Pomfrey wouldn't be able to heal it, his Lord made sure of that when he made it that deep. It still hurt like hell. He stared at the little girl.

"Will S'ape git bet'r?" she slurred out.

"Only if you leave me alone," He found Lupin's amused eyes on him. "Come take her, wolf." He lifted the girl by the back of her robes again, causing her to squeak.

"Actually, I promised to help James with something. You seem the best person to watch her." The werewolf grinned as he left.

He felt like cursing and not only verbally. He looked at the child in his hand before setting the two-year-old down on the bed again. Standing up he made to bring her back to the crib besides Thatcher's bed.

"IN BED, MR. SNAPE!" the sound of Pomfrey's voice nearly startled him out of his skin.

Grumbling he sat back down.

"All the way."

Severus swung his legs under the covers, the child sitting at the edge of the bed staring at him.

"S'ape 'n b-ed." The child enunciated the 'b' in bed so it came out 'buh-ed.'

"Yes, idiot child." He snapped.

The girl tilted her head to the side before scampering over beside him. "Beth 'n b-ed with S'ape," She said happily curling into his side.

He found himself staring at her in partial shock and disgust. Where was Dumbledore when he needed him? When had that man slipped out?

The girl yawned. "Nap." She said closing her eyes.

"NOT HERE!" he exclaimed so loudly the girl jerked away, fear alight in her eyes.

Horrible scenes of when he was true to the Dark Lord flashed through his mind at the sight of her terror-filled face. She wasn't crying. It seemed as if she was trying to judge what he would do. The girl blinked, not moving otherwise.

"I hate you, Dumbledore." He snarled before holding his arm out.

The girl stared at him for a moment before crawling forward. She hesitantly set her head on his chest, her tiny hand curling around his loose robes.

"Yes, idiot child, go to sleep."

Slowly the tension eased out of the two-year-old's body and he found himself staring at the sleeping child. Severus knew one thing, more than anything else.

He hated children.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

November 10th, 1980

Severus crumbled the piece of paper he had been scribbling notes on with a growing sense of anger building within him. Flexing his cramped fingers he turned onto a new sheet of paper. His hands ached from days of attempting to find a solution to the curse Rosier had placed on Helen Thatcher—the one preventing the mother from healing. He swiveled his head and cracked his neck, trying to ease the sore cramped muscles caused from sitting hunched over his journal, making copious notes on everything he had observed from the woman's inability to be healed.

Closing his eyes, he waited, trying to clear his thoughts. Still confined to the infirmary—despite his protests—Severus had spent the last seven days (after the initial healing) trying to find a way to save the woman who had been a captive of the Death-Eaters for three months. She had been the one woman, the one person who ever shown concern for his well-being. If it hadn't been for her, he would still be blindly following the Dark Lord without so much as a question to the sanity of it all.

His nerves were stretched to the limits and he hadn't slept in two days (unbeknownst to the bloody Mediwitch Poppy Pomfrey.) The raven-haired man stared at his scribbled notes, unable to tear his tired eyes away from the horrific truth of the matter.

He could not save her.

Severus continued to flip back and forth through his notes, as if they were flashing death sentences. They mocked him, taunted him for his arrogance. They laughed at him and ridiculed him for his presumption that he could save the woman on the bed next to him. It was practically screaming at him: _'You thought you were __**so**__ brilliant, didn't you Severus? You are a fool! You do not have the skills it takes to save the one person you'd consider a friend. You've killed her because of your stupidity!'_

The words ripped at a soul he didn't know he had. They screamed and echoed through the haunted plains of his mind. He looked over at the woman with a half glare. After years of being forced to hide any thing that resembled emotion he was unable to show his true feelings at the situation. Sliding from his bed he knelt in front of the brunette's bed, taking her hand into his aching one.

She had been the first person who had ever been kind to him, despite her situation. He had stumbled upon her, beaten, near his potions lab about a month after she had been captured. Over the next ten weeks he had managed to help her and whether he liked it or not, Helen had started to melt the icy-cold regions of his hearts.

The spell that Rosier had cursed her with needed Rosier's magical signature to remove it. And Rosier was lying dead in the Ministry due to the well-aimed killing curse from an Auror; leaving no hope for the woman in front of him.

"I can't do it." He whispered, hating the sensation building in his gut. "I don't know how to fix it, Thatcher. I just don't know how to cancel the spell."

There was a gentle squeeze on his hand nearly caused him to recoil. Soft brown eyes were staring at him through a cloud of pain.

"I tried. I tried everything I could think of." He wouldn't apologize to her but at the same time he didn't want to loose her. "The spell won't come undone, Helen. It just won't work."

A shaking hand touched his face and once again he fought rearing back, startled. "It's all right," came the hoarse voice.

Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes, fighting back the brimming emotions. It wasn't Slytherin to show anything.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!" a thunderous cry caused him to actually jerk back now.

Gruff hands grabbed him by the front of his robes and Severus found himself pinned against the cold wall staring straight into the enraged eyes of Sirius Black.

"Sirius no! Let him go!" Potter exclaimed.

"What were you doing to her? Isn't she suffering enough from your Death Eater friends?" snarled the man.

"Get your filthy hands off of me!" Severus twitched his wand, sending the man flying away from him.

"Son of a—" Black growled, getting ready to lunge at him when Potter stopped him.

"Let it alone, Padfoot. He wasn't doing anything." Potter tried to calm him down.

Severus set them a glare that would make most quake in their boots. "I don't need your fucking help, Potter." He snarled. He was half way out the door when a small voice caught his attention.

"S'ape?"

Not far from the entrance to the Infirmary stood the two-year-old child of Helen Thatcher, the brat who had—for some reason or another—latched onto him as a caregiver. The petite child was staring at him through large brown eyes as a black panther was clutched in her tiny hand. A panther that had a white stripe down its tale with glowing coal-black eyes.

The little girl took a step towards him. "S'ape, stay with me?"

Severus looked at her, feeling something indescribable burrow its way into his gut. There was a strangled noise coming from Black and the hazel blue eyes of Potter were boring into him. He kept his face emotionless, the only truth being in his obsidian eyes that he truly wanted to remain not only with Helen Thatcher but with her child.

"Peas?" the brunette child took another step towards him.

"Beth," croaked a voice that hadn't been heard in days.

The two-year-old turned around so sharply she promptly fell over. "Mama?" a small voice said as the girl struggled to her feet. "Mama,"

Severus watched her half waddle half run across the room, the panther wagging in her hand. Black lifted her up onto the bed next to her mother.

Bethany touched her face. "'Ou 'urt." She whispered to her mother.

Helen coughed while trying to smile. "I'm all right, Beth, honey."

"Mommy gonna git bet'r?"

Tears were shining in Helen's brown eyes as she weakly shook her head. "No, baby. Mommy's going to be gone for a long time." The little girl shook her head as Sirius took Helen's hand. "But I love you," she touched her two-year-old's face. "I love you so much." The two of them hugged for what seemed like a long time, Helen kissing her girl for the last time.

James slid up beside her bed. "Hey you," the woman on the bed closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips. "I'm sorry we didn't get there sooner,"

"You didn't know." croaked the raw voice. He nodded tightly, obviously still blaming himself to some degree for not getting to the village in time. "I…I need to speak with Sirius, alone." Helen's speech was taking a lot out of her.

"Come here, Beth." James scooped the two-year-old up but she let a loud scream and a giant bang sent him flying.

The small girl was sprawled on the floor crying. Snape swooped in and gathered her in his arms instantly. "Can't even hold onto a blasted child, Potter?" he sneered as he silently checked the sobbing girl for injuries.

James was on his feet rubbing his head, hand on his wand when a hand reached out to Snape. Helen grabbed his forearm. "Watch out for her…like you did for me…please," begged the dying woman. "Watch out for my child,"

Snape took a step back, looking from the woman in the bed to the small child in his arms he swallowed hard. "Come, idiot child. Your mother needs a moment alone with a moron."

"Mommy?" sniffed the girl shifting to look at the woman.

"I love you, Beth. Go, it's okay. I'll still be here." assured the woman despite all the adults knowing the truth.

Snape left the room, ignoring James who had followed, leaving Helen and Sirius as alone as they could be in the hospital wing. The pain-filled brown eyes were on the tear-filled blue ones.

"I'm sorry, Helen." whispered Sirius, bowing his head. "I promised to protect you. I promised to keep you safe from him and I failed." Helen convulsed for a moment coughing before she stilled. "I'm so sorry."

"Shut up."

"What?" he looked up.

"You heard me." They passed a moment in silence before she spoke again. "Why didn't you tell me?" He blinked, staring at her. "Why did you set me up with Rodger if you liked me?"

Guilt and horror spread through him. She was using her last moments to confront him about this? "Helen,"

Her body was racked with coughs before she shook her head. The agony she was feeling clear but a determined look in her eyes. "I've loved you since the night you rescued me."

His heart sank in his chest. "What?" Had he really thrown away his chance for happiness with her because he had been afraid she wouldn't feel the same for him?

Sirius watched her eyes droop closed and suddenly her hand went limp. A loud alarm buzzed and he was shoved away from Helen's bed by Pomfrey. Numbly he watched the woman try to revive his love but, since it was considered a healing spell, Helen's body rejected it. James burst through the doors of the infirmary, Snape and Bethany hovering in the hall, watching.

"MAMA!" came the heart-wrenching scream from the two-year-old.

The sorrow-filled eyes of the Mediwitch turned and looked at him. "I'm sorry, Mr. Black." She looked at the body. "There's nothing more I could do."

"No…" he gasped. "NO!" James grabbed him before he could move. "No! She can't be dead! It's not—LET ME GO JAMES! She can't be dead!"

"Padfoot," tried James as he fought to hold onto his best friend, unsure of what he would do if the man broke free. "Padfoot she's gone."

"NO!" he cried before falling to his knees. "No…"

He felt tears trickle out of his hazel blue eyes as Sirius buried his face into James' shoulder. "I'm sorry, Padfoot I'm sorry."

The wheezing sob was strong. "Merlin, no. Please no, Prongs she can't be gone, she can't!" he looked up at his friend as if James could miraculously tell him that Helen wasn't dead. One look at him was enough. "Prongs…she…" once more the tears over took him, unable to control it.

Bethany looked up at Snape, tears falling down the child's cheeks. "Mommy gone?"

Snape glanced at her before nodding, once more stowing his emotions away. "Yes, idiot child. Your mother is gone."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

November 15th, 1980

It was pouring rain the day of her funeral.

Severus was carefully hidden in the shadows of the trees, just outside of sight for any mourners. There was a small crowd gathered, most of them were a part of the Order. In a brief observation, Black was barely holding it together, the Potters were supporting him, the rest of that damned group seemed lost. The Weasley husband and wife were split in half as sobbing wrecks (the blasted Mrs. Weasley) and stoic (her husband—the children were elsewhere.) The Longbottoms, like some of the Aurors in the group, obviously were emotionally upset but succeeding in understanding the finality of the situation. Tears and sobs like Black and the female Weasley would not bring Helen Thatcher back.

However, his attention was draw to the only child in the group. Bethany was sitting quite still on a chair, hugging a stuffed animal to her chest. Even at this distance, he knew it was the panther Helen had given her daughter in remembrance of his Animagus form.

Keeping his face completely stone, he continued to watch until no one remained. Throwing stealth and caution to the wind he crept forward, standing at the gravestone, ignoring the rain that was soaking him to the bone. He set a single flower on the ground, watching mud splatter on the white petals of the tiger lily.

Never would it be said that he was sentimental but it had been a flower she had given him a month after she had been rescued, showing him that even the most purest of things, a white flower, could have darkness within their depths.

"S'ape?"

He whirled around, his wand out instantly.

Bethany stood, drenched, staring at him. Her shoulder-length hair stuck to her face and the dress she wore was ruined. There was a hope and sadness within her brown eyes that once again moved something within him that he didn't know what there. It was almost as if she was wise beyond her years, staring at him as if she understood why he had waited until all the people had left.

"S'ape, come?" she held out her hand, the other arm holding the panther to her chest.

A glare settled on his face. "Get away from me, you stupid girl!" he snarled prowling towards her devilishly. "I am not one to be friends with now leave me be!"

A panicked frightened look entered Bethany's eyes as she stumbled backwards, falling down. For a moment, Severus' mind flashed to Helen. The same brown orbs filled with fear and tears were staring at him. For the second time in his life, someone had burrowed their way beneath his hard shell and touched something not even he knew he had beneath.

"Come here, idiot child." he knelt down, opening his arms in a gesture he was unfamiliar with. The girl stared at him before getting up and running into his embrace. "I'm sorry." He whispered in her ear. It was the first apology he had given since his bastard of a father had finally drunk himself to death.

"BETHANY?" cried out a female voice.

A red-headed woman stopped short at the sight of Severus Snape hugging the two-year-old child. The man straightened up and lifted the small girl into his arms. The black eyes landed on her and she saw something within their depths that never existed before.

"You seem to have lost something." said the man frigidly.

She didn't move to take Bethany from him. Shaking her head she walked forward and held the umbrella over them. Both of them were soaked but neither seemed to care. "She ran away suddenly. We weren't sure why," Lily Potter said, leaving the implication that Bethany had run because she had seen him hanging in the air.

A stony silence passed between them.

Licking her lips nervously, Lily stared at the man who had barely turned spy three months ago. The man who had told Voldemort of the prophecy that pertained to her son. She found herself speaking before she even realized what she was saying. "We're going back to Headquarters. I'm sure Bethany would like it if you accompanied us."

He tried to hand over the child, declining when the girl said one word: "Peas."

There was a moment of thought before Severus shifted Bethany in his arms. "Very well," He said before following her.

Dumbledore stood waiting them. "James took Sirius back to get rest." informed the old man. "Ah, Severus, I was wondering if you would show up." The infernal twinkle sparked within his blue eyes. "I see now why Bethany ran off."

The raven-haired man glared at Dumbledore. "Get her out of these wet clothes before she catches cold." He grumbled ignoring the glee in the old coot's face as he activated the portkey that would take them outside the Order's Headquarters. Severus had joined Dumbledore not because of a reformed view but because of Helen Thatcher and now he would remain because of the little girl who was growing quite comfortable in his arms.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Christmas 1980

Severus watched Bethany as she hugged the new stuffed animal Lupin had sent. He hadn't been summoned by the Dark Lord since the week after Helen's funeral and he knew that something was going to happen soon. Before the attack on Helen's village he had been kept at the Fortress for nearly two weeks, brewing potions, both defensive and offensive for an attack that could happen at any time. Long ago, when he first started turning from the Dark Lord he requested not to be placed in the battle-fields. After three days of torture the Lord agreed, finding the way Severus 'tortured' to be too weak.

The toddler began playing with the tiny horse on wheels sent by the Potters. She slammed it so hard forward that it hit the leg of the table and one of the wheels broke off. Her eyes widened and her head tilted to the side, as if baffled by the change in the toy. Bethany looked at him as if expecting him to do something.

"Well," he said.

Awkwardly the child got to her feet and walked over to it. Picking it up, she waddled to him, holding both pieces out. "Pleas?" she said with her best pleading face.

He fought a smirk as he took the toy from her. "What does this teach you?"

"No s'amming toys." She said firmly with a frown.

The wards to the house stretched as someone entered. He tensed. Even though Grimmaud Place was keyed to Black, Severus could sense the wards as if it was his. In a way the house itself liked him more than Black.

"Correct." He said tersely.

The bright eyes of the two-year-old widened and grew glassy, the look on her face was the picture of sadness. "Snape mad?"

He looked at her sharply, realizing his voice portrayed his concern and nervousness at someone entering the house more than he realized. "No, idiot child." He said quietly holding out his arm to offer his lap to her, a gesture that he became used to after a month of looking after Bethany Thatcher.

The brown-haired girl blinked, staring; distrust shining in her eyes before she scrambled onto his lap. She settled down as he brought his arms around her both to keep her from falling and to examine the broken toy.

"You'd think they would know better than to send something that could break," he muttered.

"'Otter make a boo-boo?" she asked looking up at him.

Despite himself, Severus snorted. She still hadn't gotten quite used to the 'p' sound in Potter and a few other things and often left it out. Even he had to admit that Potter becoming Otter was the most amusing.

"Nothing I can't fix." He said waving his hand.

For little spells he slowly had trained himself not to use a wand. The wheel fixed itself back on. He pulled out his wand to cast an unbreakable charm on the toy before handing it back to Bethany.

"There you go, idiot child." The name had been an insult for the first two weeks but slowly it had grown into a term of affection.

She took the toy and then looked up at him. "Snape." He looked at her. "Se-ver-uz." She sounded out his first name, startling him.

"Who taught you that?" he asked softly.

"Molwee,"

Severus wasn't sure whether to be irritated at Mrs. Weasley or to be impressed. Bethany stopped speaking to people after the rainy day at Helen's funeral and slowly she began to start talking to Severus and then to Black, much to his distain. But if the red-haired bimbo had gotten her not only to speak but to teach a word to her then maybe that beastly family was some good being here for Christmas.

There was a knock on the door and before he even answered it opened. Potter stood on the other side of it. "'Ames!" Bethany let out a squeal and slid off of Severus's lap, walking over to the man. Potter hid his amazement at her talking. Two weeks ago she would have only smiled at him.

Severus sneered at the man as he lifted the little girl up and gave her a kiss on the cheek causing the girl to giggle. "Hi there, Beth, how are you doing?"

"Toy broke." She said pointing at the toy she had left in Severus lap. "Bu Snape fix it."

"He did?" Potter's smile darkened as he looked at Severus. "We didn't have time to put an unbreakable charm on it."

He didn't answer. Merely set the toy on the floor and swept from the room, his robes billowing behind him. Bethany watched him go, her brown eyes too-knowledgeable for her age. The brown-haired girl looked up at him. "Sev-er-uz mad?"

James blinked. "You've been learning new words,"

"You ma him mad?" she asked curiously.

James shrugged setting her down. "How was your Christmas, tyke?" He avoided her question.

Bethany stared at him for several moments before smiling and walking to a pile of toys. She held up one of her toys, a stuffed-animal, a bear to be exact. "Lu-in,"

He smiled as she went through the presents one by one. The one that surprised him the most was the one from Snape. It was a necklace that hung around the child's neck with a ring on it, one that he recognized as Helen's. One she had lost in the raid that had cost her, her freedom for three months, the one which had impregnated her with the very child who now wore it. How had Bethany got the ring? Everyone thought it had been lost…not that it really mattered after they got Helen back…but how did the two-year-old get it? Who—

"You sad?"

James jerked out of his thoughts and looked down at her. She was holding the bear in her hand and staring at him.

"No, Bethany. Just thinking."

"Tinking?" she said holding her arms out.

He lifted her onto his lap. "Beth, there is something I have to tell you,"

She studied his solemn face for a moment before sighing. "No ride?"

A fond smile spread across his lips. Whenever he and Padfoot had come to visit Bethany they had changed into their animagus form and allowed her to ride on their backs. Sighing he set her on the ground and sent a locking charm to the door. Glee entered the girl's eyes and he changed. She clapped her hands happily, standing on the armchair and running her fingers through his hair.

"Ongs,"

There was a knock on the door and instantly James changed back, the locking charm disappearing. "Come in,"

Sirius poked his head in. "Hey Prongs," he said with a smile. "Hey little one," Bethany extended her arms out and he lifted her arm into a hug. "I saw the bat retreating. Where did Lily go?"

"She and Harry are visiting with Molly and Ron. Lily feels bad that she can't do more to help with all the children Molly's got,"

Sirius looked at James' position on the floor and smirked. "Giving her a ride?"

He smiled sitting back on his heels. "I was going to…" he transfigured the tiny horse into a larger one and set Bethany on it. "I wanted to talk to you,"

Sirius grinned as he helped Bethany balance on the now mobile wooden horse. "Should I be jealous the little tyke came first?" James snorted before sighing. "What is it James?"

"Dumbledore found a family to take her in."

A tense silence passed between the two men, the only noise being Bethany laughing as the horse danced around the room.

Even though Helen Thatcher's child had been living in Grimmaud Place with rotating guardians they all thought that Bethany would end up with one of them. They hadn't even considered the possibility that Bethany would be placed outside of the Marauders or at least outside of the Order.

Sirius seemed to find his voice as Bethany stopped the horse in front of him, staring up at him with a tilted head. "Who?"

"The McGees,"

He stared at James startled. "McGee? As in Alexandria and Jacob McGee?"

"Yeah," Bethany climbed off the horse and fell backwards. James' hand shot out and broke the toddler's fall. "Easy now," She looked at him and grinned. "Apparently they aren't able to have children,"

"I thought they were Light supporters, not declared." Sirius ground out as Bethany grabbed her yellow-shape cube. She held it out to Sirius who began to play with her, pretending to mistakenly put the star in the square and so on. "Why would they give her to them?"

James leaned against the armchair, watching them. "Albus thinks that Beth will be the safest with them," Sirius let out a growl. "They have a solid home in the states…Lily and I have our hands full with Harry right now, the Longbottoms have Neville, Fenwick offered but I don't trust him, Vance doesn't want the responsibility, and there is no way Molly can handles another two-year-old on top of the twins and Ronald and the kid that is due soon…well she could but Albus wouldn't ask that. Albus had to turn to our supporters rather than fighters," Bethany laughed happily as she fit the star correctly into the cube. "Besides, don't you think she's had enough of the war follow her? She deserves a real home with a solid family."

There was a loud guttural noise issuing from Sirius' throat causing Bethany to look up at him. "When will she leave?"

The raven-haired man shrugged as the child watched them curiously. "Albus wants them to spend more time with her; he's supposed to be keeping Snivelus busy." Bethany's eyes narrowed, as if she knew who they were talking about. "Not that it really matters, there is no way anyone would let a child live with a Death Eater."

"Can you imagine her living with Snivelus?" Sirius shuttered.

A hardened look came into the hazel eyes behind the wire-rimmed glasses. "I would rather die than let a child in his hands permanently." He started laughing, but it was a bitter and sour laugh. "I can still remember the look on your face when you walked into the infirmary and Beth was curled up next to Snape."

Comprehension lit in Bethany's brown eyes and she snarled at him, causing both men to look at her. "Snape good, Snape lik me," Her defensiveness caught them off guard. "I lik him,"

Sirius broke the silence by laughing. "Good one, tyke." He ruffled her hair but she jerked away falling on her back. James went to help her but she sat up, looking at each of them.

She struggled to her feet and the Marauders watched in fascination as she pounded on the closed door. "S'ape!" she called. "S'APE!"

The two looked at each other before they heard the unlocking charm from the other side of the door. Bethany fell backwards again as the door open and she was sitting when Snape was revealed on the other side of the door.

"S'ape!" Bethany reached her arms out and much to James and Sirius' consternation the man swept the toddler into his arms.

"What did you do?" the voice was low and silky but even the two Marauders, who weren't afraid of him, knew that voice was deadly.

"Nothing, Snivelus," snapped Sirius getting to his feet.

His upper lip curled in disgust as James stood up, spelling the toy to return to normal. "Which would be why she was calling my name," he said sarcastically. "Almost in tears,"

"Actually she was calling for sape, perhaps that some new type of food….hopefully none you've prepared or else it might have snot in it," Potter's patience seemed to have worn thin.

Severus felt his ire built in him so much that his magic pressed into the air. He hated this man more than anything else in the world. His fingers itched for his wand, wanting to put the bastard in his place once and for all. However the moment he decided which curse would be the best to use on Potter a tiny hand touched his face, causing him to jerk back startled.

Bethany's large eyes were staring at him like large brown orbs of comprehension, understanding, and child-like affection. "Snape good….Sev-er-uz good," She insisted.

The room was silent for a moment before Severus spoke. "Weasley wants the animals in the kitchen," and with that he turned on his heel walking back towards the kitchen, all the while cursing in his head. "Take her," without a word he handed Bethany to the first person he saw. He half raced half sped to the Floo connection and went away to Spinner's End, the one house that his asshole of a father hadn't infected with their lies. He had some anger to work off and the Dark Lord wasn't calling him.

Bethany stared at the person who she had been deposited to. Tears were welling in her eyes as the auburn-haired woman hushed her. "Easy there, Beth…easy," the toddler sniffed staring at her. The woman smiled. "Hi there Bethany, my name is Alexandria…"


	4. Chapter 4 Growing Closer

**Author's Note**: I'm posting the rest of the story today. Please Read and Review.

* * *

**Growing Closer**

August 13, 1981

Snape had been kept in the Dark Lord's manor for three weeks, the longest ever he and Helen's daughter had ever been apart. Bethany didn't know what happened to him, despite asking: "Snape?" every day. Alexandria and Jacob McGee had stayed in Grimmaud Place with her ever since Christmas.

Sirius had thrown himself into the fights with Death Eaters (once or twice he was over heard saying that he was hoping to hit Snape on the field), the Potters had been distracted by Dumbledore, and the Weasleys were getting their house ready for their new child that was due some time in September.

The McGee's rooms were directly next to Bethany's and because of this, on several occasions over the last three weeks they heard her get out of her crib and go into the room that Snape had claimed when he was forced to remain in the house. At first it had panicked them when they saw the crib empty but after a three times of finding her in the doorway, staring at the empty bed, they knew where to find her.

Jacob was watching Alexandria play a Muggle Magic game with the newly turned three-year-old. It was interesting watching Bethany's reaction to the games. He was independently wealthy, being a half-blood and having no direct line into a fortune, he lived the American dream and settled in California, making it 'rich' so to speak by opening a bookstore that carried everything from Muggle textbooks to the darkest of Dark Arts books. To him, knowledge was power but the only time knowledge became 'evil' was when a person would use that knowledge to harm.

Bethany had just figured out how Alexandria did the magic penny trick after the forth time his wife had done it.

For a child, the bouncy brunette was good at seeing deception and that bothered a part of him. She was too young to understand everything that went on around her but despite that it seemed as if she did. Even though it was only a month past her third birthday she could comprehend certain conversations that should have been beyond her even if she was five. She knew when they were talking about Snape, whether they said his name or not. Then there were times she would stare at you with the shining brown eyes that seemed to show all her emotion and it would be unnerving because it was like she was reading your mind.

Alexandria started another magic trick, the disappearing bean beneath cups. Purposely they were using Muggle means because they were testing to see how much she could comprehend. Without fail the second time Alexandria did the trick Bethany knew exactly where it was. A smile crept across his face as the little girl tried to do the trick on her own but only proceeded to knock the cups over in her attempt to mix them up.

"Jake," He looked at his wife, startled. "You're staring." She said amused. She leaned back on her hands, shaking her dark auburn off her shoulders. "What time is it?"

He glanced at the wall clock. "Around three, do you want to put her down for a nap?"

Bethany jerked her head up. "No nap." She scowled.

Alexandria smiled. "I don't think she wants one,"

"Should we really give her everything she wants?" he retorted back good-naturedly. There was a knock on the door before she could answer. "Enter only if you dare!" he called.

James Potter appeared on the other side of the door, he was attempting a smile but it didn't work too well. "James, nice to see you," Alexandria said standing up. "I thought you were with Albus,"

"Prongs," Bethany clapped her hands smiling.

He nodded. "Lily and I just came from there." Jacob had never seen him look so worried, so serious. "Albus wants to speak with you two," He glanced at Bethany who was now watching them carefully. "I have to talk with Bethany,"

"Is anything wrong?" Jacob asked closing the book he was supposed to be reading.

"Yes. But don't worry, it'll work out soon," even as he said it, it was quite obvious James didn't believe it.

Jacob studied him for a moment before crouching down in front of Bethany. "We'll be right outside, just call if you need us, all right Beth?"

The three-year-old blinked and then touched his face before giggling. "Bye-bye,"

He smiled and ruffled her hair before following his wife out but not before casting a cautious look back at Bethany.

Her attention turned to James. "Ride?" she asked hopefully.

James sighed shaking his head and sitting down on the armchair Jacob had vacated. "No. No ride today, Beth. Lily and I won't be staying."

"Go where?"

Sometimes he hated how smart this child was. "Away. For a while, until Voldemort is brought down."

"Voldie?"

Her nickname of him caused him to crack a smile. "Yes…he's…he's threatened us. He's looking for us right now."

Bethany merely stared at him.

"We, the Longbottoms too, won't be around very much."

Part of him wondered whether she really understood what he was saying but then he had to remind himself that this was the child that had a spurt of accidental magic in the middle of one of Snape and Sirius' fights and silenced them both. She was stronger that she let on.

"We came here to say goodbye."

"Harry?"

James blinked before smiling. "Lily has him, do you want to say goodbye?"

"Safe?" the girl looked around the room as if Voldemort was going to jump out from behind the couch or curtains.

"Yes, Beth, it's safe." He looked at the door. "Lily," His wife appeared in the doorway with a bright-eyed Harry. "Harry learned how to crawl, Beth," as if to prove his point Lily placed Harry on the ground by the door.

He was waving at first but then spotted Bethany. Happily the little guy crawled towards the familiar child.

"Harry," The big green eyes were staring at her. "Stay safe, stupid." She said so firmly that Lily muffled a laugh.

James looked at his wife. "She's been listening to Snape too much."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Be polite, Bethany."

The brown-haired girl looked up at Lily. "Lilee sad?"

"Yes, Beth, I'm sad that we have to go away."

"Come back?"

"We will, one day." Lily shot a look at James. "Sooner rather than later,"

Harry squealed and grabbed at Bethany's hand, trying to put her fingers in to his mouth. Bethany looked at Harry. "No away lik mama, Harry."

James glanced at his wife. She wasn't any happier at going away than he was. Hiding was not something Gryffindors did...at least that was his opinion until Dumbledore revealed the active pursuit Voldemort had started because of the blasted prophecy. That prophecy changed everything. He knew for a while that he was on the sour side of Voldemort but that didn't mean he expected a prophecy that could apply to his son or the Longbottoms to arise, a prophecy that said that Voldemort would mark one of the two children as his equal. Snape, the rotten bastard, had passed what he heard of the prophecy to Voldemort before he turned spy but currently the active search for the Potters had stepped up.

Bethany looked up at him just as Sirius raced into the room. "Is it true James? Is it true?" he demanded.

James looked at his best friend. "Hi Sirius,"

Horror dawned on his face. "Dear Merlin, James what are you going to do? Harry where is—" He spotted the near one-year-old on the floor and dove to him, sweeping him into his arms and giving the boy a tight squeeze. "Merlin, James, we have to kill him! We have to kill Voldemort before he kills Harry! We can't—"

He was cut off by an out of breath Peter Pettigrew coming into the room. "Sirius what was that about? You broke—"

"There's a fucking prophecy about Harry, Wormtail." snarled Sirius.

"SIRIUS BLACK! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" Lily thundered causing all members of the room to jump, startled.

"I'm sorry Lils, but…but he's my godson,"

"And he's my son," she shot back, her green eyes murderous. Sirius was looking a cross between worried, hateful, and angry. Lily, in one movement pulled her son from him and deposited him into James' lap. "You're point being?"

"He was just worried, Lily. Over come with emotion and—" Peter tried but she cut him off.

"Shut up, Peter."

His jaw snapped shut and he looked away, ire burning in his eyes.

"I want to kill the freak once and for all, Lils. If he so much as thinks about hurting Harry I'll kill him!"

Lily crossed her arms. "And all the other times he threatened families we didn't get this reaction from you, this whole war has been like a game to you."

Sirius stared at her in shock. "It's personal, Lily. I can't just stand by and do nothing. He's going to attack Harry."

"The prophecy could also be about Neville," Lily retorted.

James shook his head, hating when Sirius and his wife argued. "Prophecy?" Peter piped up. "What prophecy? What is going—"

"Shut _up_, Peter!" Sirius and Lily both snapped.

He recoiled and felt a burning of hatred in his chest all the more. He hated being ignored…why could Sirius speak and not him!

Sirius was looking at James for help. "The Headmaster never said it was about Harry, only that it could be," James elaborated. "Besides, Voldemort is now actively searching for us. That's why we have to be care—"

"So it could be Longbottom?" Sirius seemed visibly relaxed.

"I cannot believe you, Sirius!" exclaimed Lily suddenly. "You're ready to seek Voldemort out yourself when it was Harry but since it could be Neville you act as if it doesn't matter!"

"I never said that!"

Lily was outraged. "You implied it!"

Peter tried to speak again, "Lily, it was just that he would have been—"

"SHUT UP PETER!" Sirius and Lily exclaimed.

James found Peter's eyes on him, desperately looking for someone to stand up for him or something. But in this regard, he had to agree with his wife and best friend. Peter really needed to be quiet. "Just be quiet, Wormtail."

He missed the crestfallen look which was soon replaced with hatred, cold hard resolution, and then a mask of indifference. Unbeknownst to any of them, as Peter slipped from the room a pair of large brown eyes watched him with an uncanny understanding in them.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Four days later Albus fired-called Grimmaud Place with dire news: Severus Snape had stumbled into Hogwarts two days ago and slipped into a coma earlier that night. Alexandria, though not employed as such, was a professional Healer who would work at hospitals when a crisis occurred. The Headmaster was requesting that she come and check Snape over for anything Poppy may have missed.

The fire had just returned to normal color when Jacob came in holding Bethany who was rubbing her eyes. "She woke up," he said glancing at the clock. It was three minutes to two in the morning. He summoned a bottle with water in it. "She won't go—" He stopped short when he saw the paleness on his wife's face. "Alex what is it?"

The auburn-haired woman looked at Bethany and then Jacob. "He came back. He's at Hogwarts," Jacob was still trying to figure out why that would worry Alexandria. They had agreed not too long ago that they would allow Bethany's contact with Snape to remain intact merely because of the attachment she had to the man. "Albus told me he slipped into a coma. The Headmaster wants me to come give him a check-over."

Bethany squirmed in Jacob's arms causing him to snap out of his stare and hand her the bottle of water. The child began drinking as he sat down. "Do you think he's bad off?"

"I don't know." Alexandria pulled her knees to her chest, balancing on the chair carefully. There was a cup in front of her and the American Magical Community Press (AMCP) newspaper next to it. He had known she had gotten up at some point, unable to sleep, but he didn't think it outright insomnia. "He looked afraid, Jake. You know how Albus thinks of him."

"How long was he away?"

She sipped the liquid from the cup. "Almost a month, Albus said it had never been that long." After a moment she abruptly sighed and set the cup down, standing up. "I'm going to go get dressed; I'll fire-call you when I learn more." Jacob nodded. Bethany squirmed as Alexandria leaned down and kissed her husband. "Make sure the little tyke gets to bed," she said ruffling Bethany's hair before kissing the top of her head.

Jacob watched his wife retreat. She would floo from the living room so Bethany didn't see her leaving. Snape had left via floo and now, because of his long absence, the three-year-old panicked when she saw someone going through the green flames. His daughter touched his face causing him to look at her sharply.

She stared up at him, with the bottle in her mouth still, as if asking what was wrong. He smiled and sat her on the table in front of him. "You should be asleep, Beth."

The child blinked. "S'eep sca'y," she said softly, her eyes no longer shining with anything. To his consternation they had turned a dull brown, as they often did when she was sad or scared of something.

"Sleep's scary?" he questioned. Bethany looked down nodding. "What makes it scary?"

She looked up at him, her lips in a frown. Her hands covered her eyes. At first he thought she was playing the pee-a-boo game she played when Ronald Weasley was over but when she didn't remove her hands he realized she was trying to tell him she saw something scary in her sleep.

"Monsters?"

Bethany peeked out from behind her right hand. "Mean man," the little girl said finally.

Jacob studied her. Even though she could speak and understand relatively easy neither he nor his wife had been able to get her speak about the nightmares that woke her up every few nights. The ones she usually escaped her crib in search of Snape for.

"And what did this mean man do?"

The trusting brown eyes filled with emotion all of a sudden. The first emotion was sadness, the second fear, and the third he couldn't identify. "'urt mommy," she whispered.

"Helen?" no matter how long they had spent together if Bethany called one of them it was by their name, not mom or dad.

The child nodded. "She iz s'eeping now,"

He opened his arms and she fell into a hug. "That mean man isn't real, Bethany. He's gone now."

Jacob felt her nod into his shoulder. For a while they stayed that way and he wondered if she had gone to sleep when: "'ake?" he heard her murmur. "W'ere Sever-us?"

He stiffened uncontrollably. Pulling away he looked at her. "Why do you ask?"

"Bad man keep him away,"

"He'll be back." He tried to make his voice confidant.

"W'en?"

"Soon,"

The girl nodded before bringing the bottle back to her mouth. "You should be asleep, Beth." He said finally. She looked at him. "It's night, time for all little girls to be in bed."

"No more bad and mean man?"

He smiled at her standing up. "No, Beth. They won't hurt you,"

She held up her arms and he lifted her up. "S'eep wif you?" She asked as they were half way to his room.

"You want to sleep with me?" Bethany nodded solemnly. He hadn't been planning on going back to sleep but if that got Bethany to sleep so be it. "All right, little one." He turned towards his room.

He set the pillows up on the headboard so he could sit and leaned against them as Bethany settled down under the covers next to him, her head in his lap and her hand clutching his night-shirt. The light was on beside his bed and he dimmed it enough that it wouldn't bother his little girl as he read.

"Night Bethany,"

"Night, daddy," She murmured moments before falling asleep.

Jacob's heart clenched both in shock and joy. His brown eyes welled-up with tears as he looked down at the small child.

She called him daddy.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

August 20, 1981

Alexandria had been gone for three days and Bethany had started getting as suspicious as a three-year-old can get. Right now, as Jacob went of the finances of his book store, Bethany was curled into Remus Lupin's lap as he read her a story. They hadn't expected to be gone from America as long as this. The final adoption papers, needing only Alexandria and Dumbledore's signature sat under the many sheets he had spread across the den's desk.

The store was going in waves of profit and then dropping for a day or two before sky-rocketing. He wasn't quite sure why and what was causing it and he wanted to figure out what it was and why. But he couldn't seem to focus on his work. His mind kept drifting back to Bethany and then Snape.

Despite Dumbledore's insistence that they stay away, Jacob couldn't help but think that the presence of his little girl might bright Snape out of the coma. Snape put on a large act of hating everyone and everything. Jacob knew that but he also knew that Snape had a soft spot for his daughter and his daughter for Snape.

Remus looked over at him as he ended the story. "She really must not like afternoon naps," he commented as Bethany reached over him to the pile of books she had brought over, handing him another one.

Jacob smirked. "No, she really likes stories and won't fall asleep to them." Remus had decided to read her a story to put her to sleep, now three stories into the sitting Bethany wasn't looking any more tired than before.

"You could have warned me," the werewolf said good-naturedly.

"You wanted to read her a story and she loves them, who am I to argue?" Jacob said with a shrug. "I'm going to get a coffee, you want anything?"

"Water, desperately." Remus said as he opened the next book.

Jacob shuffled off to the kitchen, knowing full well he could have spelled water there but he needed to move around. He was fetching the glasses when his wedding ring started to grow warm. He and his wife had special rings spelled to let the other know when one wants to talk to them. The brown-haired man grabbed a two-way mirror Sirius and James had spelled for him and looked into it. Alexandria was there looking nervous.

"What is it, hon?"

"Albus will kill me for doing this, but you need to bring Bethany here."

"Why will he kill you?" He hadn't seen his wife so worn and tired in a long time.

She glanced behind her before whispering in to the mirror. "Several reasons," Jacob stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate. "Jake…" she swallowed hard. "He's dying."

He gripped the mirror harder. Bethany might not be able to deal with another person she cared about dying. "What?"

"He won't wake up, even though he is healed enough to. I'm theorizing he doesn't think he has anything to live for," the pain in his wife's voice caused him to sit down with a thump. "I think when he first came here, before Albus sent him to the hospital wing, he was awake and Albus told him about us."

"Remus is here; shall I send him home or take him with us?"

Alexandria shrugged. "Do whatever, just come…and say you wanted to visit me because Beth was getting nervous or something."

Jacob smiled despite himself. "She has been wondering where you were…I'll be there in ten or fifteen minutes." He started to put the mirror away.

"Jake?"

He stopped looking back at it.

"I love you."

A soft smile spread across his lips. "I love you too, Alex"

She disappeared from the mirror and his face now reflected back at him. Sighing Jacob slid the mirror into his pocket and strode out of the room. Remus stopped in mid-sentence. "What is it?" he asked.

"Come here Beth," Jacob held out his hand. The three-year-old stared at him before sliding off Remus' lap and waddling over to him. "We're going to Hogwarts to visit Alexandria,"

Remus studied him and shook his head. "And Snape,"

Bethany's head whipped to the werewolf. "Sever-us?" the hope and fear in her vice intermingled.

"Yes, little one, lets go get shoes on you," Jacob said. Bethany nodded and started towards the staircase with Jacob following her.

"Jake!" called Remus coming out of the living room. "Is he okay?"

Jacob looked back at him, knowing full well Bethany had stopped her awkward climb and was staring at them. "Come with us and find out,"

True to his word they were ready in ten minutes and tumbling out of the floo in the Hospital wing. Alexandria was sitting at the desk in the office with Poppy Pomfrey bent over the desk, filling a sheet out. Both looked up startled, hands twitching to their wands.

"Jake, Beth…Remus, hi," Alexandria jumped up, sounding surprised.

"Hi love, Beth missed you and wanted to see if you were okay," Jacob lied, glancing at Pomfrey who was watching them.

"Oh, little one, I'm okay." Alexandria crouched down and held her arms out.

Bethany stared uncertainly at her before going into the hug. They had to get Pomfrey out before Bethany asked about Snape. He was concocting a plan just as Pomfrey spoke.

The carrot-haired woman shook her head signing her name to the sheet. "You don't have to lie to me, Mrs. McGee; personally I think the Headmaster is making a mistake not letting Bethany see him. If he comes down I'll distract him." With that she opened the door and motioned for them to go out.

The moment the three-year-old saw the door open she bolted from Alexandria's arms and hurried as fast as her little legs could take her into the extended Hospital Wing. Twice she fell and the two parents twitched to help her but she got up and looked around, as if trying to find him.

"This way Beth," Alexandria held out her hand.

Bethany grabbed it and allowed herself to be lead to the bed where Severus Snape lay in a coma. "Up pleaz." She asked pointing to the bed.

Alexandria lifted her onto the bed. "Careful please, Beth."

The child nodded curtly and crawled towards his face. She lifted the limp arm up and set it on his chest. "Sever-us," she said softly touching his face. "Wake up. Pleaz wake up. I miss you." The auburn-haired witch kept close watch on the vitals.

No change. A dwindle of hope was dashed.

If Bethany couldn't bring him out of the coma, she didn't know what would…It was an hour before Bethany started crying and buried her face into Snape's shoulder. Unable to do anything but try and comfort her, the two parents tried to pick her up but she resisted. She wanted to stay.

"Is it safe?" asked Jacob as his daughter curled into the crook between Snape's arm and his chest. She was trying to put his arm around her.

"She won't hurt him. Everything is healed," Alexandria said sadly. "Everything but his mind." She said inaudibly.

They were quiet for a moment as the tears fell down Bethany's face minutes before she fell asleep. "Let's let her sleep," he whispered motioning for them to go back to the Nurse's Office.

Remus sighed and followed them back. "How did he get that way? Was he awake when he first arrived?"

"Dumbledore isn't speaking, at all. He comes periodically in and asks how Snape is doing but then leaves, locking himself up into his office." Alexandria bit her lip and then something occurred to her. "Remus, I thought James and Lily were going into hiding."

His brow furrowed as Jacob sat down on a lounge-couch. "They were. Why what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I just saw them earlier. They are in Dumbledore's office. Harry is with them along with Sirius and Peter."

There was something that passed through Remus' face before he smiled tightly, said his goodbyes and disappeared through the floo. Alexandria glanced at Jacob. "Should I not have told him that?"

"I'm not sure." Jacob and Alexandria fell into silence before he let out a long sigh. "I'm going to go see Albus." Alexandria stared at him. "If Snape doesn't pull through this, we're going home with our daughter."

The auburn haired woman blinked. "But what about the Order?"

Jacob shook his head. "We're not members, Alexandria. We're not even declared. We're supporters, nothing else and I'm tired of being in Grimmaud Place with people popping in at random times. I want to go home with our daughter and start raising her properly." Alexandria stood up and headed out the office. "Where are you going?"

"You think I'm going to sit here while you give the Headmaster a piece of your mind? I've got to watch this." She said with a smirk.

He captured her in his arms and lowered his lips onto hers. "This is why I love you,"

"Not for my looks," she said with a flounce before they made their way to the Headmaster's office in silence.

"We don't know the password," Jacob said, that only occurring to him as they turned the corner and saw the gargoyle at the end of the hallway.

Alexandria snorted. "Just who do you think you're married to?" she asked before saying some sort of sweet (Blood Pops…who would ever buy that?) making the gargoyle spring to the side. Raised voices reached their ears as they ascended to the door.

"….the only man who can tell us is unconscious in the Hospital wing!" Lily's familiar voice thundered.

"Lily, you cannot blame him for Snivelus' condition." Sirius spoke.

"I can't, can I?" the voice was deadly. Alexandria and Jacob looked at each other. "He was awake and lucid when he first came here, isn't that right, _Headmaster_?"

"Yes."

There was a silence passing through the room.

A male voice spoke in low deadly tones. "What did you do to the man who can tell us whether Voldemort is still pursuing us or not?"

Alexandria was surprised to hear the question coming from James. She knew that group of friends quite clearly hated Snape.

"Come in Mr. and Mrs. McGee," came a tired voice.

They looked at each other before pushing into the room. The Headmaster was sitting at his desk looking very tired with James and Sirius sitting across from him. Lily was on her feet looking a cross between shocked and royally upset. Peter was leaning against the back wall, watching the scene and they could see Harry in the 'library' of the office playing with some toys, a strong aura of magic around him, keeping him blissfully unaware of the argument in the main area of the office.

"I wish you hadn't brought them here," the Headmaster said to Alexandria, obviously referring to Jacob and Bethany.

"You didn't tell me he was awake when he first got here," Alexandria countered. "What did you say to him? He was bad off enough,"

With a wave of his wand Albus conjured two more chairs. "Please sit and I'll explain." Distrustfully they obeyed. "I'm fairly certain if Voldemort was still seeking you, Severus would have told me the moment he got back."

"You sure about that?" Sirius snapped. "He hates James; Snivelus probably would not only not tell us if Voldemort was but help in—"

"Sirius Black that is enough." Albus said in a quiet but hard voice.

"Why hasn't he woken up yet?" Peter voiced.

"He doesn't think he has a reason to live." Alexandria said with a glare. "You told him about the adoption didn't you?"

Albus nodded. "Before he left, he asked me if the laws would ever allow him, once the war is over, to adopt a child."

It took a moment for what he said to sink into the five adults

"He wanted to adopt Bethany?" James choked.

The aging man nodded once more. "I believe he was hoping he could."

There was a stunned silence after Dumbledore's statement. Alexandria and Jacob looked at each other linking hands. They knew Dumbledore would sign the Release of Guardianship papers and Bethany would come home to California with them but it was still unnerving that Snape wanted their daughter. Sirius was the one that broke the silence by a rather hysterical giggle escaping from his lips.

"That's a good one, Headmaster. Next you'll be saying he loves the girl and doesn't just want to hand her to Voldemort." Despite the amusement in his voice there was venom behind it as if threatening that if anyone said anything to the contrary he would hex them.

Jacob shook his head. As much as Snape made him uneasy, he knew just as well as the rest of them that he was not true to Voldemort. "Sirius, he is our spy." No one else spoke up and the death glare Sirius hot him made him shutter slightly. "He is no more true to Voldemort than I am."

"Now we don't really know who you're loyal to, now do we, McGee?" snarled Sirius, looking very much like a wild dog. "You're not fighters…no you bloody Americans don't want to get your hands dirty like that. Leave it for the Brits to die, you'll just pick our pockets after it and all will be well with the world."

Alexandria felt her husband's grip tighten. "You went too far, Sirius. Apologize," Albus intervened.

Sirius made a low growling noise. "He's a supporter, but do we really know for what side? Look at his bookstore; it has more Dark Arts books than the Malfoy family!"

Jacob rose to his feet. "This, coming from the man who owns several houses that are dripping with Black Magic!" he exclaimed. "The same man who sent a fifteen-year-old boy into the lair of a werewolf, not just any werewolf but one who was supposed to be your friend! You're darker than I'll ever be!"

Black was on his feet now. "You want to say that again?" he asked whipping his wand out.

"GLADLY!"

"_Expelliarmus!"_

Jacob's newly extended wand and Sirius' flew to the back of the room and into Peter's hand. "Stop acting like a child, Padfoot. I don't like Snivelus any better than you do but he has done some good things and helped us. You can't deny that,"

"Give me my wand back, Peter." He was clenching his hands in fists, Sirius' blue eyes glowing with anger.

"Peter just give his wand back." James sighed, earning him a slap up the back of the head from Lily.

The scrawny, peevish looking man glanced about for help before Jacob spoke. "No, let him keep it, Black. So you don't end up hurting yourself with it."

"Jacob McGee!" snapped Alexandria shaking her head.

"He has a point, Sirius." Lily tried softly.

Hope rekindled in Peter's eyes. "He saved Lily and James last year, remember? He knew Voldemort was going to attack Diagon Alley the day that the Aurors were doing their inspection. The day Lily and Harry were there shopping. He could have just let it pass but he didn't. He—"

Sirius cut him off. "If he was so good, _Pettigrew_, then why didn't he find out about Helen?" He spat.

"You can't blame him for that can you?" Lily found her voice and managed to gape in shock. "He told us about the Ministry and Voldemort was there. The Ministry would have been over turned if we weren't there."

"How can you be sure it wasn't a distraction? Huh? Those bastards kept Helen with them for three fucking months before we got her out!" Sirius turned his hatred to the red haired woman. "Rosier had tried to get her several times after she had Bethany! Snivelus should have bloody known this was Voldemort's distraction to get her!"

"Should he have?" asked Peter shaking his head. "We didn't. It had never occurred to us until it was too late that not enough Death Eaters were—"

Sirius whirled around. "Shut up you fucking little rat!"

Peter's jaw snapped shut, looking startled and hurt all in the same moment. "J-J-James, help m-m-me here," he pleaded after a moment, his stutter beginning to return.

James sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Peter just shut up. Let us deal with this."

He blinked rapidly before his face hardened. "I h-h-h-hav-v-ve th-th-th-things to d-d-do," He tossed the wands on Dumbledore's desk and stalked out, slamming the door shut behind him.

"You guys are pathetic." Alexandria said quietly. "Not only are we accusing a man who has done more than his share to make retributions for what he did in the past but we're accusing a man who very well could _die_ within thirty-six hours if we can't get him out of his coma. How can you _men_ be so heartless?" she asked in shock.

There was another stony silence following her statement. "Sirius, Mr. McGee, please sit down." Albus said after a moment. Without a word from either of them they sank into their seats. "I believe that we strayed off of topic here." He let out a long sigh before turning to Alexandria. "I do believe I know a single way to raise him out of the coma, but I've hesitated to do it because I do not like what it implies."

"You could have brought him out of the coma all this time and you didn't?" the auburn haired woman said indignantly.

"Severus…Severus has a strong sense of duty Mrs. McGee, even if he doesn't think that he has the right to live, if we tell him that he still has a duty to complete…that..." Albus cleared his throat. "That he can't die until the war is over I do believe he will wake up."

Alexandria's jaw dropped. "How do you know that will work?"

Albus shut his eyes. "Because I've used it before on him…"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Jacob held Bethany as Albus half shouted at the prone form of Severus Snape. The three-year-old so obviously didn't understand why the Headmaster was yelling at her friend. Hell, Jacob himself didn't completely understand it either. It hadn't even occurred to him that their adopting Bethany would have such an impact on this man.

James and Lily watched with bated breath as Albus began to demand Snape to wake up. Sirius had opted to stay in the Headmaster's office with Harry and secretly Jacob was glad. The two of them often bashed heads but never to such an escalated shouting match. He did know one thing for sure: he wanted to leave with Bethany as soon as possible.

A movement caught his eyes and his wife gave a tiny gasp. Severus Snape moved again before blinking and opening his eyes. "Sever-uz!" Bethany exclaimed trying to run forward but Jacob grabbed the back of her shirt to stop her.

Coal black eyes went from Albus to Bethany and then to the other. "Fuck off," he moaned and rolled over, his back facing them.

"Sever-uz?" the three-year-old said in a tiny voice.

"I'll leave you to check him over, Mrs. McGee" there was a haunted look in the Headmaster's blue eyes as he left the room.

Lily and James glanced at them before nodded their heads at Alexandria, Jacob, and then Bethany and slipping out. "Come on Beth, why don't we get you some dinner," Jacob tried to lift his daughter up.

"NO!" she exclaimed and there was a burst of magic. He found himself sprawled on the floor as Bethany waddled over to Severus' bed. "Sever-uz awak?" Bethany asked going to the side of the bed where Severus was facing.

Alexandria helped Jacob to his feet. "What was that?" she whispered.

"Defensive magic I think…." He said in shock.

The black eyes of her friend stared straight ahead, not looking at her at all. "Sever-uz waz hurt." She said softly. "I waz scawrd." He gave no reaction. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Are ye mad at Beth?" the child asked sadly. "I sorry."

"Bethany please come away from there," Jacob said in a strained voice.

The three year old shook her head, a few large tears splashing down her cheek. Bethany reached out and touched Snape's arm. The onyx eyes hit her with a glare that was filled with contempt. "Pleaz, Sever-uz…don go away lik mommy."

A very tense silence passed through them before he raised his arm up. "Get up here, idiot child," he said in a voice so low Alexandria and Jacob almost didn't hear it.

Bethany's brown eyes lit up and she yanked herself up onto the bed. Curling into a tiny ball next to him, he draped his arm across her. "Thank ye," she slurred before closing her eyes.

He sighed and shut his own. Why did Dumbledore had to remind him he still had responsibilities? Why couldn't the old man have let him die in peace?


	5. Chapter 5 Final Betrayals

**Chapter Five**

**Final Betrayals**

September 29, 1981

It was two days before James and Lily were supposed to officially go into hiding and Sirius had come to Hogwarts around midnight. They had been tucked away in a secluded area of the school which most people didn't even know what there. James had been wondering at first why he was there. All the Order members were wound up tight because of the last two weeks someone had been slipping the Dark Lord information about the Order's movements. At first it was suspected to be Snape, so one Order meeting was called without him and a similar bit of information, which was false, went Voldemort's way.

No one knew who it was and they didn't have the time to search for the traitor. Too much was happening.

But, much to his surprised, that wasn't what brought Sirius here at midnight. Well at least not completely.

His best friend was pacing back and forth in the tiny parlor of the two-bedroom flat-like rooms Dumbledore had transfigured for them until they made use of the Secret Keeper. It was the pacing that was irritating him. Normally, James could just pass it off, laugh at it, joke around, push him into a chair, ordering him to sit and make it a grand joke, but not tonight. Tonight, Sirius' pacing seemed to mark the madness of this situation.

It was the insaneness of the situation that caused James to merely go through what Sirius had said instead of making the bloody man stop pacing. "I don't believe you…I can't. You're just jumping to conclusions." James said finally.

Sirius shook his head, his pacing increasing before James had even finished. "No, James." His voice was broken and rough. "No, I'm sure. It can't be anyone else." He looked at the raven-haired father sitting on the chair. "Do you really think I'd even _say_ it if I wasn't sure?"

Another silence fell over the two. James hung his head. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible that the Order's traitor was one of them. One of the Marauders.

"_How_ do you know?"

"Peter." Sirius said simply. "James, there were only three people that knew and had the opportunity to divulge all the information about us…about you that's been sold to Voldemort." He paused looking at the worried hazel eyes. "Three people James! Three people other than us and I'm under a secrecy spell…that only leaves—" He stopped him in mid sentence.

"Does the Headmaster know of your…suspicions?" James struggled with the word.

"Yes." Sirius growled. "There are only three, Peter, Dumbledore and…" He couldn't even bring himself to say it.

His best friend closed his eyes and sighed. "Remus…"

Suddenly Sirius swung his fist bitterly against the wall. "We should have _known_, James! We should have seen it! He was our _friend_!"

James watched helplessly as his best friend beat his fists against the wall. "Padfoot,"

"We should have known!"

"Padfoot." The fists pounded harder. "SIRIUS!" James thundered getting to his feet.

A quiet surrounded the room and Sirius' hand was bleeding. Harry let out a choked wail, protesting the sudden shout. Sirius flinched, as if struck. James shut his eyes taking several deep breaths; he could sense Lily standing in Harry's nursery in the next room, breathless, frozen, and waiting.

Sirius sank down on the maroon loveseat shaking his head. "We should have known." He whispered softly. James buried his head in his hands. "He's a werewolf, Prongs. He—"

"He's _Moony!_" snapped James bitterly. "He's a Marauder, Sirius. A Gryffindor—a bloody Prefect, for Merlin's sake! He fought by our side, slept in our dorm!" He glanced towards the door and lowered his voice. "He's the reason we stuck together for so long, Sirius, you know it! He's the reason we survived!"

They were quiet for a long time.

"What do we do now, Padfoot?" croaked the father. "Tell me please." He looked at the door. "I've got a fourteen-month-old baby in there. We're going into hiding in two days, Sirius." James swallowed hard. "Where the hell do we go from here?"

Sirius stared at James. Both their eyes were shining with tears, their jaws set in resolve. "We make Peter the secret-keeper," Sirius said firmly. "We will throw them off the scent."

"They'll come after you, Sirius!" James exclaimed

He nodded. "I know." The haunted blue eyes met James'. "It's the only way." Sirius said firmly.

"We'll think of something else." snarled the raven-haired man shaking his head. James refused to believe that would be the only way to protect his family was to put Sirius at risk, it just wasn't an option in his mind. "I don't give a flying rip, you can come into hiding with us, but I am not sacrificing your life like that. The moment Voldemort realizes we disappeared he'll come after you."

"I know."

"No."

Sirius slammed his fist down on the table. "You can't refuse James! If _he_ finds out where you are it doesn't—"

He was cut off when there was a tiny pop, a house elf standing nervously in the living room. "Master Potter, sir, Master Lupin is wanting entrance, sir, what do I tell him Master Potter, sir?" the tiny grayish creature asked.

James put his hand on Sirius' knee as the animagus twitched, wanting to launch himself at the werewolf. "Let him in," The elf bobbed his head up and down quickly. "Behave yourself, there is no proof and he's still our friend."

Sirius let out a snarl and stalked to the fireplace, where he poured himself a glass of whiskey as the portrait swung in and their tired and aging friend stepped into the room. The footsteps paused and there was a tense silence as Sirius dumped the contents of his glass into his mouth.

"I…I was hoping to speak with you, Pron—James…" came the nervous voice of their werewolf friend.

He was in the process of pouring another glass when James spoke. "What is it, Moony? Anything wrong?"

He could feel the amber eyes darting from him to James and then back. "I was hoping to do it alone,"

Sirius half slammed the container of whiskey down. "Oops sorry," he said unapologetically as he turned around. "Butterfingers,"

"Padfoot, why don't you go see how Lily is doing with putting Harry to sleep," James didn't have to look at his best friend to know that ire was seeping into his blue eyes. "Please, Sirius," he half whispered, barely audible.

The man let out a snarl and took his glass into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Harry let out a wail and a faint smile traced his lips as Lily scolded Sirius. His attention turned to the fidgeting Marauder. "Have a seat, Remus." He offered.

The werewolf swallowed hard and shook his head. "I can't."

"What's wrong?" he steeled himself. He couldn't let on that they suspected him.

For several moments the tawny haired man paced before sitting down, standing up and sitting down again. "Prongs…James…" Amber eyes suddenly met his eyes and James was taken back with the angst in them. "You don't trust me do you?" he asked finally.

"What makes you think that?"

"I haven't been in contact with you for nearly a month." The man was looking everywhere but him now. "Peter sees you more often than I do and…and I was here when Albus woke Snape up from the coma." James tensed. "Jacob told me that you three were with Albus…why are you leaving me out Prongs? I thought the Marauders didn't keep secrets from each other…" he whispered.

James shifted, feeling as if the weight of the world just landed in his lap and thought his heart was the perfect thing to tug on. "What secrets are you inquiring about?" he asked carefully. This sounded fishy. It almost sounded as if Remus was looking for information.

"That! That's it right there," the eyes were now tear-filled, meeting his straight on again. He shook his head. "Inquiring about? James, you sound like a bloody Slytherin with that language. You're on guard, tense, and I can smell distrust!" Silently the raven-haired man cursed Remus' lycanthropy. "Why don't you trust me, Prongs? What did I do?"

James stood and turned his back to the man with a sigh. "Nothing, Moony…nothing,"

Taking after Sirius, he poured himself a glass of whiskey. At this rate he would need more than just normal whiskey to sooth him. He wondered for a moment if one of the elves could get their hands on some fire whiskey but he was brought back to the situation quickly.

"Times are tense, right now, Remus. Some times friends grow apart."

"The Marauders are friends for life." Remus whispered the words he had cherished since the moment James had spoke them in their forth-year. "You swore that to me…"

James sipped the liquid. "And we still are friends, Moony."

"But you just don't trust me," James looked back at the man who looked as if his world was ending. "You don't trust me but you still trust Peter and Sirius…" the horror and realization hit him seconds later. "You think I'm the spy don't you?"

The raven-haired man cursed once more within his own mind. Remus was always the smartest of all of them. "I didn't say that," he tried but he had been silent too long.

"JAMES!" exclaimed the werewolf jumping to his feet, the hurt in his eyes overwhelming. "How…how could you believe that?" James turned around and looked at him. Remus looked towards the door Sirius had disappeared into. "Do they believe it as well?" Remus asked after a long moment of silence.

James didn't answer. He couldn't place the emotion that crossed Remus Lupin's face that next moment nor could he speak as the Marauder nodded slowly before backing away.

"I…" for a moment the man held his eyes and the betrayal was so clear it hurt. "I…" Remus shook his head and fled the room.

Sinking into a seat, James felt his heart give a painful lurch. He had betrayed Remus. If he didn't turn out to be the spy—"Merlin what have we done?" James asked staring at the ceiling as if it would give him some answer.

He downed the contents of his glass and wished desperately for some answer to fall and hit him in the head, either literally or figuratively. He poured another glass magically and the raised the glass up to the air.

"To the Marauders."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Things at Grimmaud Place were just as tense as at Hogwarts and had only escalated when Remus returned upset. The next day was when the McGees confronted Dumbledore. It had been over a month since they first were at Hogwarts with Snape. Eighteen days since they had come back to Grimmaud Place to stay after Snape was stable, fourteen days since Jacob and Alexandria signed the adoption and guardianship papers and handed them over to Albus. Ten days since Albus claimed he sent it to the Ministry. And eight days since the Ministry claimed they misplaced it.

With each passing day the McGees became more and more agitated. They wanted to take their child home, why wasn't Dumbledore letting them? that was the whole point he said yes when they volunteered to adopt Bethany, to get her away from the war. But the mangy old coot wouldn't let them take her away like he promised.

That's why they asked Remus and Peter to watch over Bethany that afternoon. The two Marauders had been excluded and left in the dark about what was going on with James and Lily, which was probably why Remus had been so upset upon his return from 'visiting' James and Lily. As far as several members of the Order were concerned neither of them could be trusted. Jacob and Alexandria didn't believe that.

Dumbledore was calmly sitting at the kitchen table, looking very tire but he had a forced smile on his face. "Cut the crap, Dumbledore," Jacob broke the silence. "We want to take our daughter back to the States with us by the end of the week,"

"Mr. McGee, as I've told you many times before, I cannot allow you to take Bethany away because it still not legal for you to do so. The Ministry misplaced the papers and without them being approved by the Ministry, you are not allowed to take her anywhere." Dumbledore said summoning three tea cups and a pot of tea.

"You mean they lost them." Alexandria rephrased.

"Tell the Ministry to _un-loose _them!" snarled Jacob, who had taken to pacing. "I know what you're doing Dumbledore. I don't know why but you're not letting us leave."

"My boy, would I ever do that to you two?" he looked shocked. "I want Bethany as safe as the next person. After all I'm still her guardian,"

"Three weeks ago, I would have said you didn't have it in you to play games in peoples lives," Alexandria said softly shaking her head. Her crystal eyes were ablaze with emotion. "But now, after what you said to get Snape out of that coma…I don't know anymore."

"That was for his own good, he needed to live,"

Jacob sat down with a growl. "Did he? What right do you have to say whether people live or die? It wouldn't have been suicide, his injuries were severe enough…he wanted to die but you wouldn't let him. Is that noble or scheming?"

"Jacob, child, why would I ever—"

"I'm not a child, Headmaster," Jacob said clearly. The old man looked at him. "Answer me plainly, why won't you let us take Bethany away?"

Dumbledore sighed bringing the cup of tea to his mouth. He swallowed it. "I told you that I can't allow you to do something illegal,"

Jacob rounded the table and Dumbledore stood up with a jerk. "You're hiding something and I want to know what it is! Did you finally find out why they wanted Bethany? Why won't you let me take her?"

The old man shook his head. "Sit down," Jacob snarled and started pacing again. "I cannot tell you everything yet, Jacob, it's just not possible."

"It is possible, just unlikely that you'll tell us everything." snapped Alexandria shaking her head.

Dumbledore raised the teacup again and sipped it. Jacob looked at him and had an oddly triumphant look on his face. "I could take advantage of what you just drank, Albus." He said causing his wife to look at him sharply. "You're not a fool, I know that. So you know that taste…you know that I just gave you the strongest form of Veritaserum there is,"

"Jake!" Alexandria gasped.

There was a look of anger and then acceptance in Dumbledore's eyes, but his face was completely neutral, signaling that the potion had taken effect. "Yes I'm aware of that."

"I could force you to tell me what I want to know," he said slowly. Dumbledore stared at him for several moments. "But I won't." He poured a second vial into Dumbledore's drink, this time visibly. "There is a reason Alexandria and I haven't declared for the light. We aren't ashamed of using certain means to get the truthful answer to something."

Dumbledore sipped the tea and shook his head as the effects of the potion faded from him. "Stay until November, look for a new house away from LA, that city is too Muggle."

"Of all the hypocritical things to say," Jacob retorted as Dumbledore rose. "You must go, yeah, yeah I know."

The Headmaster bowed his head and left the room.

"Are you out of your mind? Why did you do that?" Alexandria exclaimed jumping to her feet. "Giving Albus Dumbledore Veritaserum!"

His temper snapped like a fragile twig. "I WANTED ANSWERS ALEXANDRIA!" His wife blinked but didn't shrink away when he came towards her. "We have been here since Christmas, waiting to take our child home with us! It is now nearly nine months later and we're no closer to getting Bethany away from this war than we were at Christmas!" Jacob hated the fact that he was taking his anger out on his poor wife's ears but she simply stood there, listing. He began to pace again. "That bastard of a man is refusing to give her up for a reason that is probably so far up his ass that Merlin himself couldn't find it!"

Alexandria snorted sitting down. "I hope not. What would Merlin be doing up Dumbledore's ass to begin with?"

There was a moment of silence as he looked back at his wife in shock, part of him not being able to believe she had just said that before he chuckled. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the head. "Thank you Alex"

She smiled and leaned into his touch. "Couldn't have you bringing the house down around us,"

"Aw, but it'd be fun," Jacob joked sitting down.

His brown eyes were still dark with his displeasure but Alexandria knew he'd get past it. She didn't like what the Headmaster was doing but there wasn't much they could do about it. Appealing either to the American Magical Government or the Ministry of Magic would do no good, in America Bethany wasn't a citizen yet and in England they were too busy with Voldemort to care about the children the monster left behind.

She was about to speak when the fireplace flared to life, burning a vibrant green. Jacob moaned and pointed his wand at the teacup. "Jake!" she exclaimed as she saw him change the tea to scotch. "It's not even four yet." He smirked, raised the glass, and sipped the contents making her shake her head, turning their attention to the fireplace.

Very few people would come directly to the kitchen when flooing to Grimmaud Place because it required a password and a key handed out by Dumbledore. Most usually went to the 'entry room' or 'greeting room' which was devoted to people who arrived by floo. They didn't have to wait long until the person stepped through, landing easily on his feet.

"I thought Madame Pomfrey wanted you to stay at Hogwarts until the beginning of the term." Alexandria said motioning for the black-haired man to sit.

He sneered but accepted the seat; moving slower than normal and he had a slight limp that wouldn't have been noticeable unless they knew the exact way the man walked. "A day hardly matters."

"Many health care professionals beg to differ," Alexandria said with a smile. "Tea?"

"No." he half snapped.

Jacob snorted. "You sound like Albus bloody Dumbledore,"

His auburn haired wife shot him a look that could kill and flicked her wand in his direction. At first nothing happened and he smirked sipping his cup. Instantly he spit it out. It tasted like prune juice.

"Alexandria," he growled as she burst into laughter.

She bit her lip but her face was bursting with a grin. "I guess that spell and alcohol don't mix very well,"

"Alex what did you do to me?" he asked pulling the two-way mirror out. Jacob's jaw dropped. His skin had a sentence written over it again and again: I Drink Prunes and his hair had gone a ghastly amber and ruby-red that stood on its end. "ALEX!"

"I guess trying to spell it to say I'm a drunk only works without magical scotch…are you sure that's scotch, dear?" Alexandria went to peer into the cup with a grin but Jacob poked her in the side. She let out a squeak. "Hey!"

"Take it off!"

"Never!" she exclaimed jumping to her feet and moving away from him.

"Alex," Jacob rose to his feet.

"As entertaining as this is," Snape interjected with a sneer. "I have places to be. I assume you invited me for a seat because you had something productive to tell me and not just to waste my time."

The husband and wife looked at him before nodding with a sigh. Alexandria sat back down and looked at the man. "Yes there is," Jacob said with a smile. All he got in return was a sneer that made him wonder if he could spell the man's face into a smile for a day. He shuttered figuring that would probably be more terrifying than his glare. "It's about Bethany,"

A strange light lit in the black eyes. "Is she all right?"

"She's fine," Alexandria reassured. "We're just having problems with Dumbledork right now," There, on the corner of his lips she could have sworn they were trying to tug into a smile. "He told us how you wanted to adopt Beth,"

The eyes became hard as steel, portraying no emotion.

"And we came to a decision." Jacob said slowly. "Alexandria and I both agree that raising Beth in a two parent home is better however," he took a breath. It had taken them many hours of discussing to come up with this because neither of them found the man to be very pleasant. "However we would still like you to be a part of Beth's life."

"What for?"

Alexandria blinked staring at him. "What for?" she repeated in shock. "Because you care for Beth and she cares for you. Why else?"

"She is not my child," he snapped standing up.

"But you wanted her to be," countered the auburn haired witch.

There was a flash of anger in his eyes before he looked away.

"I don't want to give up my daughter, Mr. Snape, however if we force you out of her life we fear that the consequences of that would be worse than if we killed the child's biological mother ourselves."

Something they couldn't place flickered across Snape's face before he turned his back to them.

Alexandria continued. "You are the first adult she latched onto after her mother's death. She cares about you a great deal and trusts you more than I've ever seen a three-year-old trust someone. Beth is a unique girl and she's chosen you to care about. We don't want to loose that joy for her."

The man dressed head-to-toe in back placed his hand on the mantle of the fireplace shaking his head. "We have been looking for a new house in California," Jacob picked up where his wife left off. "My business is going very well and we managed to find a plot of land just outside a Muggle and Magical community where I'm having a house built for us."

Severus sneered at the thought, even though they couldn't see him. Of course, the man just had to show off the money he had. The great and noble McGees couldn't just buy a house already built but they had to make sure everything suited their exact needs.

"…and there will be a set of rooms put aside specifically for you, if you would like to visit us when we go to live there."

He snapped out of his thoughts, realizing the infuriating man was speaking while he had been lost in his own thoughts…his own set of rooms? The arrogant prick to think he would stoop low enough to come and—

"Before you go off and get angry," the wife spoke cutting through his thoughts. "This is merely a suggestion in order for you to visit Beth. Unless of course you wish to remove yourself completely from her life," There was a shift in the woman's tone. "And if that is the case I'll leave it to you to tell her."

Severus turned to face them, neither seemed to be joking, taunting, or teasing him. They honestly wanted him as a part of Bethany's life. "Very well. Once the war ends I shall visit," he made to leave but Alexandria stopped him.

"Mr. Snape, do you suppose you could do us a favor?" He cursed. That was why they were doing this, they wanted something from him! How stupid was he to think that it was because—"Albus lost the adoption papers when sending them to the Ministry, is there any way you can sneak around and find out why he is keeping us here?"

He blinked looking back at her. _Why would Dumbledore be keeping them here? I thought the whole point was to get Bethany out of England, not keep her here. _ Without realizing it he gave the woman a curt nod. "I'll do what I can."

"Thank you."

Another nod and he escaped the room, heading towards the staircase that led to his room. It was repulsive that he was forced to stay here but he had no choice, Dumbledore's orders. There was a cry of glee coming from the parlor and he slowed to a stop and peered in the door that was open a crack. Bethany was clapping her hands happily at something. In the next moment the werewolf and Pettigrew fell to the floor laughing.

His upper lip curled in disgust and he started to turn away but two brown orbs were suddenly on him. "SNAPE!" came the childlike voice of joy as the three-year-old got to her feet and raced towards him. She tripped a few feet before him and he dove down to catch her. The brunette let out squeals of giggles and wrapped her arms around him. "I miss yeh." Bethany said.

Severus glanced at the other two men and they quickly averted their gaze. "I missed you to, Bethany." He said softly.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Peter shuffled into his darkened flat with a depressed air. Today was actually an enjoyable day. He got to spend it with Bethany and that little girl could make Snape smile, which was like turning water into fire. The Weasleys arrived not long after Snape and the twins along with Bethany reeked havoc until dinner. He had joined the meal until Sirius came. The tension in the air between the group became so much that all three Marauders left, as to not spoil the evening for everyone else.

Instead of turning on a light, he sat with a thump on his couch, pouring himself a glass of sherry. It was an acquired taste and only Remus and himself acquired it. Sirius gave all his 'supply' to them because of it. Now it was being put to good use, getting him wasted.

"I would think a man of your caliber would drink something more masculine." A familiar silky voice said just as he took a drink of the liquid.

He was so startled he spit the liquid out. "Holy crap!" he exclaimed fumbling for his wand.

"Easy, I'm not here to hurt you." The voice said before a dim light entered the room, the lamp and candles had been lit. Lucius Malfoy's image was outlined in shadows and the orange light. "How are you my friend?"

Peter slid his wand away and poured himself another glass of sherry. "When have _I_ ever been your friend?"

"When you started supplying me with information about your precious little group a year ago," Lucius invited himself to a seat but not after sending several cleaning charms to it. He grunted at the blonde man. "Anything to report tonight?"

_Yeah, go to hell._ He thought bitterly. "Nope, nothing other than Dumbledore being the normal jackass he has been since school. They still don't trust me but at least I'm not alone in that."

Lucius sneered but forced a pleasant smile. "Would you like to relay your next bit of information directly to the Dark Lord himself?"

"No. I'd prefer to still sit on a fence post." snapped Peter wishing desperately that he could handle fire whiskey. It had never agreed with him but had gotten him drunk with two drinks.

"That is dangerous."

"So are werewolves," he retorted, quite obviously referring to the fact one of his best friends was werewolf.

The two men stared each other down before Lucius reluctantly relented and stood. "I shall leave you to your…sherry," the blonde's upper lip raised in disgust much like Snape's did.

He held the glass up with a grin. "Thank you very much, Malfoy. Get out of my house."

Lucius bade him farewell and disappeared via portkey. _I should probably put wards up against portkeys._ Peter thought after a moment. Seconds after he polished off his fifth glass the fire flared to life and he looked towards it. Who would be calling him?

James' head instantly appeared. The man looked tired and worried. Hope rekindled itself in his soul as he knelt in front of the fireplace. "Hey Wormtail…can I talk to you?" James asked. "It's about a secret keeper,"


	6. Chapter 6 My Friends

**Chapter Six**

**My Friends**

October 29, 1981

Peter fiddled with the stove in his flat. He had been on an elated 'high' since the end of September and James' suggestion of him being the secret keeper. Even now he liked that high that was on his mind. Tucked away in the back corners of his brain he was the only person who knew where James, Lily, and Harry Potter were. That information in itself had made him feel like he was on the top of the world.

After he had accepted James' request to be their secret keeper he had spelled his house to repel portkeys. Malfoy had tried to come to his house four more times before taking the hint and leaving him alone. Peter was glad that he hadn't done much more than tell that man what ticked the Marauders off. He shifted the teapot onto the burner which he finally spelled into working. Everyday he was grateful that he did not take the mark.

Sirius was supposed to be coming over. Peter had recently paid a 'check-up' visit on James and Lily the night before and Sirius was dying to know how his best friend and godson were doing. He fixed the broken chair leg with a flick of his wand. The flat wasn't much. A majority of the furniture, Peter had received second hand. He couldn't afford much and his parents were long since dead, most of their savings going to the last bit of tuition at Hogwarts.

There was a knock on the door and Peter tripped over a chair in his haste to answer the door. "Coming," he called fumbling to his feet, cursing at the pain in his shin. "Who is it?"

"Godric Gryffindor, come to tell you better let me the fuck in before I burn down this door." Sirius' angry voice came from the other side.

Peter's brow furrowed. "What's the password, Sirius?"

"Let me in, Wormtail, or I swear I'll curse you into next year."

"Padfoot,"

"Fuck it all, the password is Moldywarts. Happy?"

Peter swallowed hard opening the door. This was not going to be a pretty sight. Sirius was leaning against the doorframe. He still had his leather jacket on and he looked livid. Brushing by the man he dumped his bike helmet on the ground and tossed his jacket on the couch.

"By Merlin's sake, Peter, please tell me you have some alcohol other than sherry," Sirius growled dangerously.

He took a step back before shutting the door and opening the cupboards. Peter knew he barely had enough food for the next week, let alone anything but the sherry Sirius had given him. He wasn't about to let that on though. No way in hell. Swiftly, when Sirius was looking in the other direction, he transfigured a few pieces of dust into a bottle of scotch, unopened. Praying to whatever god was out there that Sirius wouldn't know the difference; he placed the bottle on the table and summoned two of his best glasses, which were merely glass that was meant to look like crystal.

Without a word Sirius poured something to drink and continued to pour and throw the contents into his mouth until more than half the bottle was gone. "Tastes like crap," Sirius said after placing his cup down and leaning back, his demur much more relaxed.

Peter jumped, startled, when the tea pot began to whistle. Silently he got up and took it off the burner, setting it aside to cool. If Sirius was drinking the man wouldn't want tea.

"In fact this whole place looks like crap."

"Thank you very much, Sirius. I am well aware that my flat's standards are not up to par with your homes but please understand, not all of us have your paycheck." He snapped and immediately regretted it.

Sirius merely laughed, pouring more scotch into his glass. "How are they doing?"

"Well enough. James is having a hell of a time not using magic. It's rather amusing watching him figure out Muggle contraptions." Peter said recalling when James stared at the stove in the kitchen confused at how to light it. Sirius chuckled and sipped the scotch from his glass. "Padfoot, what's wrong?"

"_Snivelus_ was poking around Dumbledore's office. I caught him but the Headmaster didn't even yell at him."

"That's what has you so pissed off?" Peter said shocked.

"No." growled Sirius. "The McGees finally got the adoption papers through the Ministry. They are planning on leaving after Halloween."

Peter nodded slowly. He understood why Sirius was so upset. Despite never verbally saying it, all the Marauders knew Sirius loved Helen and her little girl. A part of Sirius had felt guilty that he couldn't protect her from Rosier. Sirius, like Snape, had been fighting Dumbledore for custody of the little girl. Peter, merely from being the last person to be noticed in the room, had been present after many of the Order meetings before the end of September when Sirius and Snape (separately) chewed the aging headmaster out for giving Bethany to 'the Americans.' Part of him wondered what Sirius would do if he knew that he called the McGees the same thing Snape did.

However he did agree that the McGee were going to be great parents to Bethany. He loathed to admit it and hadn't actually said it out loud for fear of a hex being sent his way. Yet Snape backed off at the end of September and merely spent his free time with the child instead of trying to fight where she was going.

"…then he fucking tells me to get out of his office."

The smaller young man looked sharply at his friend, realizing he had tuned out what Sirius was saying. He let out a loud laugh, which Peter followed with nervous laughter himself, silently berating himself for not listening.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Peter asked as Sirius spelled the bottle to refill the moment he emptied it. The bottle was not a small bottle and he had drunk the entire contents.

"What are you my mother?" retorted the raven-haired man before laughing. "No you're too weak to be my mother."

Peter blinked, staring at his friend. There was a glazed, glassy look on Sirius' eyes. The man was drunk, which was a surprise because he could hold his liquid the best out of all of them…that meant. He winced. That meant that Sirius had been drinking well before he arrived here.

"Merlin Wormtail, you're such a limp wrist. I've never seen you stand up for yourself."

"Sirius, I think you've had enough." Peter reached for the bottle but Sirius batted his hand away gruffly. "S-Sirius," he cursed again in his head. His stutter was coming back. Why of all times did it have to come back in front of Sirius.

"S-S-Sirius," his raven-haired 'friend' mocked. "Please you stuttering fool. You couldn't stand up to a fly."

"P-p-p-please, d-d-don't d-d-d-do this," he pleaded. "You're d-d-drunk."

The raven-haired man sneered. "Fuck off, Pettigrew!"

Peter swallowed hard; the pain in his chest was coming back. _Think about Lily, James and Harry, they trusted you enough to make you Secret Keeper; they thought you were brave enough._ He told himself silently.

Sirius barked with laughter. "You really think they chose you because they thought you were brave?"

_Shit, I said that out loud!_ cursed Peter. But what Sirius said caught him before he could berate himself too much. "W-w-w-what d-do you m-m-mean?"

"James only chose you because I told him to." Sirius said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as he began to drink directly from the bottle. The brown-haired man didn't understand. "Moony was suspected to be the spy and Voldemort would come after me because it's obvious for me to be the Secret Keeper, so we chose you. No one would think to look at you…you're too stupid."

His world came crashing down around him, realities hitting him so hard in the face Peter felt faint. He wasn't chosen because they trusted him, only because they didn't have anyone else. Not because they thought he was brave enough for the job only because he was the one person everyone would overlook. They always had, why change that track record now?

"….grand idea, but really Peter, did you think that you were special or something? Did you think that you were chosen because you're a strong Gryffindor?" Sirius snorted.

"G-g-g-get out." He said quietly.

"What?"

Peter rose to his feet and pointed towards the door. "O-o-out. Now." He was fighting to control the tears and the anger.

"What is it, is little Wormy upset?" joked Sirius getting to his feet.

"F-f-f-for Merlin's s-sake, S-Sirius! J-J-Just g-g-g-et out!" he shouted.

Sirius looked taken back before laughing. "Fine whatever, this tastes like crap anyway." He tossed the bottle onto the table, causing it to shatter and spill its contents out on the table. "I will be by in a week. Albus wants me to do something for him. Bye Peter." Oblivious to the pain he caused, he slammed the door shut behind him.

Peter crumbled to the floor, crying. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they see how much he wanted to be one of them? Why didn't they care?

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Severus fought his drooping eyes as he spent his twenty-sixth hour over the bubbling cauldron. He had been called early morning on the twenty-eight, much to his annoyance. Bethany luckily remained asleep as he slipped into her room and bid her goodbye. He didn't know how long he would be this time and he had taken to saying goodbye merely because he was never sure if he would ever see her again. Her face was a clear picture in his head as he numbly sliced the dragon liver for his newly invented potion. This potion wasn't hard to make and caused the person to feel as if their insides were being turned inside out.

With a sigh he stirred the other cauldrons that had been boiling for ten minutes. Carefully he poured the potions into a glass-reinforced ball that they had taken to using. Several Death Eaters would levitate them over the towns, drop them, and they would explode. As the entire town was reduced to the ground in non-existent pain they would spread in, stealing valuables and taking prisoners if they felt like it if not the entire town would be wiped out, turned into a ghost town.

He was just about to add the dragon livers when Rodolphus Lestrange entered his potions lab. "Severus," the man said. He sighed. Rodolphus was the only one that ever called him Severus…at least since Regulus died. "The Dark Lord has called the Circle to the Throne Room." Severus stared at him. Rodolphus shrugged. "No idea, I was sent to get you because he didn't want to mess the potions up. Are you in a position to come? He gave the option."

This was strange. The Dark Lord never gave options. Quickly casting a preservation charm and on both the potion and the dragon liver he washed his hands. "All the Circle?" he questioned walking from the room.

"Bella, you, Malfoy, and I,"

Severus' brow furrowed as they entered the room. He quickly took his place at the right side of the Dark Lord, Malfoy at the left. The four of them, through horrendous acts, had made their way to be the four people the Dark Lord trusted the most. This was going to be deathly important but why…why was he—his thoughts were cut off sharply when Bellatrix stalked in, dragging a brown-haired bloody man behind her via magic.

"My Lord," she bowed down, careful to show her cleavage to the man in front of her.

Rodolphus, her husband, sent her an annoyed look but didn't bother showing anything else. After three years of marriage he was very used to her antics and attempts to get the Dark Lord to look at her like he had when she was in school. Severus' attention, however, was not on the slut, but on the man she had dragged in bound.

_How the hell did that foolish fucking rat get caught…why is he looking at me, does he expect me to help him? Fuck, I would rather ingest a Blood-Boiling potion than help him._ His thoughts raced as Bellatrix took her place and Peter Pettigrew fell to his knees in front of the group.

"Well…well, now, if it isn't Mr. Peter Pettigrew," the Dark Lord said, clucking his tongue. "You seemed to have caused quite a dilemma on yourself." The ropes disappeared and Pettigrew collapsed the rest of the way to the floor, giving a very mouse-like squeak. "Where is that Gryffindor bravery? You certainly gain it while telling Lucius about your…friends."

Severus controlled his features carefully. _Pettigrew was the spy!_ He exclaimed mentally. _How fitting, the rat is the rat._ He thought sourly.

Pettigrew attempted to get to his feet but failed miserably.

"Do you think you can run?"

"G-g-g-go to hell," spat the rat.

"I thought hell was only a Muggle concept," the Dark Lord said with a laugh. He hopped onto his daunting throne, complete with rearing snakes.

"W-w-w-what d-d-do you w-w-want?" the horrid man stuttered.

Mutely they all watched Pettigrew as the Dark Lord gave a disdainful guffaw. "What do you think I want, Pettigrew? Information,"

"N-n-never."

Severus couldn't read the expression on the Dark Lord's face. "Pettigrew, I grow tired of this charade. You have been giving me information since last year, you will continue to tell me what I want to know," Pettigrew mustered up a pathetic glare. "Or I shall kill you,"

"I-i-it was a m-m-m-mist-t-t-take!"

"How were you able to be sorted into Gryffindor, since it was so easy for you to contact Lucius and betray your friends? Was the Sorting Hat blind, or were you a particularly slippery student?"

Pettigrew didn't answer.

"Tell me where the Potters are."

"I w-w-will n-not be-t-tray my friends again,"

The Dark Lord snapped his fingers and the man was screaming in agony. "How did you find him Bella, my love?"

The look on the woman's face was sickening. "A pub, not far out of wizarding London, he was stilling there like a fool staring at a full glass of fire whiskey as if it would tap-dance for him."

"I w-will not be-t-t-tray my friends again. I w-will die first."

The Dark Lord narrowed his eyes and the man was lifted up. Pettigrew grabbed wildly at an invisible rope around his neck. His face had a purplish tinge, his eyes and tongue began to loll grotesquely.

"Shall we reconsider?" the Dark Lord smiled in his direction. "Your friends or your life?"

Pettigrew kicked the air pointlessly, pulling at the rope that encircled his neck and Severus heard the traitor gasp before choking words out. "M-m-my…friends…"

"YOUR FRIENDS!" the menacing man was on his feet in seconds and Pettigrew snapped up through the air, making a gurgling noise as he dangled higher than before. The man reached out and hit the purpling face so hair the spell dissipated for a moment, causing him to fall. Pettigrew drew in a raged breath before he was jerked up again. "Your friends or your life?"

The man was stumbling to get something out. "Friends."

Severus had to give Pettigrew credit. When he found out moments ago that Pettigrew was the traitor he expected the man to break within seconds but he was willing to give his life for people. It was sickening.

"They don't even like you!" The Dark Lord barked. "They think you're annoying, that you're a nuisance. You're _nothing_ to them, Pettigrew. Nothing."

Even as Pettigrew struggled with both hands for air to draw half a breath, he glanced down at The Dark Lord with a look of contempt. "I'd…d-d-d-die…for them."

The Dark Lord nearly laughed. "Yes. But would they die for you?" He continued without waiting for an answer. "Think about it, Pettigrew. What are you to them? Potter treats you like an infant, like a first-year. And Lupin only talks to you because nobody else does. And Black—" The Dark Lord smiled maliciously. "Dear _Sirius_. He's quite beautiful, isn't he? And sometimes, when he talks to you, he can make you feel as though you're actually someone that he actually cares for."

Pettigrew's face twisted into hate. The helplessness of his eyes, silent in their fury, was positively delightful.

"You want him, don't you?" The Dark Lord whispered, stepping closer. "Oh yes, you want him." Severus swallowed the bile that was burning his throat. "Unrequited love," The Dark Lord crooned.

The demonic man smiled at the tears that had now wetted the man's cheeks. With a sly look around the room, Severus knew instantly that he wasn't the only one who was on edge. Rodolphus was fidgeting. Neither of them understood why the Dark Lord was so focused on this man.

"Touching. But hopeless. How does it feel to have your love forced into silence? How does it sicken day by day from an impossible dream? It's hopeless."

Pettigrew had shut his eyes, turning his face away resolutely. The Dark Lord leaned closer. "Your friends—or your life?"

Pettigrew smiled again, a brief grimace before he gasped again for breath, but The Dark Lord thought it might have been a pitying sort of smile. "M-my… fr—"

"Your friends—or your life?"

Pettigrew squirmed with renewed vigor. His eyelids fluttered open, and his eyes rolled and stared with unfocused blankness. His lips seemed to have trouble forming the words, but after many failed attempts, The Dark Lord made out the whimpers: "M-m-myyy… f-frieeen—enn—"

The Dark Lord snarled. "Your friends—or your life?"

Saliva was leaking out from the corners of Pettigrew's mouth. His limbs moved only jerked in brief spasms. His pupils had dilated to the point that the irises had become invisible.

"Well?" The Dark Lord demanded, spittle flying from his mouth, his voice a garbled hiss of power and rage. "Must I break you for you to confess?"

Pettigrew's face contorted as the Dark Lord did something to him. Severus glanced at the others in the room. Only Bellatrix was staring at the Dark Lord with a love-struck gaze, the rest of them looked rather green and confused. The Dark Lord let out an irritated growl and dropped Pettigrew to the ground.

The man was gasping for air and his watery eyes met Severus' and for a moment, Severus couldn't look away. There was a betrayal there…he knew that the Marauders didn't care about him. _Serves him right._ Severus thought but there was still a twinge in his chest. He couldn't help but feel some sympathy for rat.

"Out…now." The Dark Lord snarled.

Immediately they all bowed and slid from the room. Severus stalked back to his potions. After a few hours, Peter Pettigrew was the furthest thing from his mind.


	7. Chapter 7 A New World

**Chapter Seven**

**A New World**

October 31, 1981

7:51 pm

Severus collapsed through the fireplace and into Grimmaud Place. Oddly no one was there to see who had just come through the floo. Instantly suspicious, despite his exhausted state, he whipped out his wand. Creeping forward he searched for any sign of life in the fully lit kitchen. Footsteps echoed down the hall and he pressed himself into the pantry, the door open just a crack. Alexandria, looking very tired and harrowed, shuffled into the kitchen, her auburn hair in a loose braid hanging over her shoulder. She glanced towards the fire and froze her wand in her hand within seconds.

"Who came through?" she called, her eyes searching through the kitchen carefully. The crystal blue eyes narrowed. "Out of the pantry, now,"

"The security in this place has become scarce for me to come through with no notice and no alarms." He said coming from the pantry.

Her wand was still trained on him. "Tell me something only you would know."

"I wanted to adopt Bethany." He retorted but knowing full-well that it was necessary. The auburn haired woman lowered her wand and went to the stove. "Why was there no one here when I returned?"

"Disappointed?" she snapped before wincing and looking at him. "Sorry, that was uncalled for." Severus said nothing. "We've…we've all had a long afternoon."

His brow furrowed. A majority of the Death Eaters had gone out around noon that day with the Dark Lord. He was not privy as to why nor did he much want to know. However that meant a raid and that would be harrowing for the Order. "How many casualties?"

Alexandra snorted. "Hell if I know, no one tells us anymore. Didn't you know, everyone who lives in this house is bloody taboo," she was preparing a pot of tea the Muggle way, much to his surprise. "Great I'm going to make it back to America only to have the world bloody added to my vocabulary."

He arched his eyebrows at her, giving her neither a quizzical nor vacant look.

She shrugged. "Everyone who actually sleeps here or spends most of their time here is treated like we gossip to everyone we meet. Merlin help us if something important happens, we're never told." The kettle began to whistle. "Couldn't have been too important if they didn't call everyone one in," she turned and poured herself a cup of tea, the smell of mint filling the air. "Would you like any?"

"No…thank you." He responded.

"You must be exhausted; Albus won't be back for some time. Get some sleep. Odds are you haven't slept since you were summoned." She said setting the tea pot on a tray and adding some tea cups.

Severus opened his mouth to the blasted woman he didn't need a mother but stopped when he heard a sniveling laugh that was familiar. He looked towards the door. "Who else is here?" he asked.

Alexandria looked at him as she hovered the tray. "Just Jake, Beth,"

Severus made his way down the hall, limping ever so slightly, ignoring his swimming head. The Pepper-Up and Alertness potions were wearing off.

"Remus and,"

He pushed open the door to the living room and stared in shock at the person who was making Bethany laugh by putting two saucers on his head like ears.

"Peter. Why? What is—?"

He didn't hear the rest of the sentence as Peter Pettigrew looked at him, a slightly madden look in his watery gray-blue eyes. Severus glanced down at his left arm. It was itching as it always did when someone with the mark was near. Black was speaking and Bethany was struggling to get off of Jacob's lap but he couldn't comprehend that.

The floor was rushing up to meet him as it sank in.

Pettigrew gave what ever information the Dark Lord wanted to him and the rat was waiting for the Dark Lord to act.

_Shit,_ he cursed silently as blackness filmed over his vision.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

9:57pm

Lily laughed as Harry sat up again, his large green eyes blinking and a bright smile on his face. James simply shook his head. "Lily, he really should be in bed right now," he said brushing his son's wild hair away from his face.

His red-haired wife grinned. "You want to try to put him to bed? He refuses to sleep…reminds me of a certain someone I know." She said shoot him an amused look.

"It's called chronic insomnia," James said defensively with a broad smile on his lips. "I think we should put little Harry in his crib, sneak into our room, and pretend we're on our honeymoon again." He said nuzzling her neck.

Lily elbowed him with a smirk. "Harry'll be in the next room."

"Sleeping,"

She bit her lips, tilting her head to the side as he continued to kiss her on her neck and down her shoulder. Harry let out a gurgle and grabbed at her hair that had come within his reach. "Perhaps I should take you up on that offer,"

James pulled back, a spark in his eyes. "Really?"

"In fact, Champaign is in the fridge to celebrate Halloween…" she said getting to her feet and shifting Harry onto her hip.

"Did I ever mention how much I loved you?"

"Not today,"

He stood and pulled her to him. "I love you." He said lowering his lips onto hers.

After a moment Harry let out a cry and hit James on the head before laughing hysterically as if it was the funniest thing in the world. James grinned pulling away. "Go slip into something a bit more…comfortable."

Lily winked at him and headed towards the stairs when there was suddenly a loud alarm and a huge crash was heard from the kitchen. James whirled around, his face going white. The alarm meant someone had breached the perimeter without the password. Horror filled him as lights flashed outside, illuminating a single person, his wand trained on the house.

"Lily! Take Harry and go!" he cried flicking his wand into his hand. Lily stood at the stairs, clutching Harry, her face deathly pale. "It's him. Go, run! I'll hold him off!"

"But James, you can—"

He looked at her hatred and fear in his eyes. "Use the floo, go to Peter's place. NOW!" the front door blew open. "I love you," he whispered as she started to run up the stairs.

"Well…well…Potter," Voldemort, in all his glory, still looking no older than twenty-five with gleaming red eyes, stood in the doorway.

James felt his heart harden. Lily had to get out of here…she had to. "Voldemort, I don't like uninvited guests in my home."

"I lost the invitation." He retorted, a long slender wand was at his side. "You think you can defeat me, boy? It took less than an hour to break Pettigrew. Useful little rat, isn't he?"

Betrayal coursed through him. Peter was the spy? That meant—_Remus…gods Remus,_ His thoughts cried.

"You didn't find much use for him though. Pity, he was loyal until the end…"

His heart clenched. Peter wasn't the spy? But that meant… "You murdering bastard."

"Please cease complimenting me, it'll go to my head." The man said calmly.

"I see you came alone. I had expected some of your loyal followers, Malfoy maybe, even Snivelus." James spat.

"Lucius isn't capable for this and Severus is busy with other things." Voldemort said conversationally. "You and your wench have been harder to kill than a Thestral." Voldemort shot him an eerie smile, looking as if they were two men conducting business. "I'll let you live, just let me at your son. Then you and that bitch of yours can live happily ever after out of my sight."

James thought about yelling some lame 'never' line and tossing a spell but he hated how theatrical that would sound. Instead he twitched his wand and a spell flew at Voldemort. He laughed evil side stepping the spell.

"It'll be easy," the slender wand pointed at James and the father was thrown into the back wall, pictures breaking against his back. "Just give me the screaming brat and you'll live. You're a pureblood after all."

"Fuck off." He groaned, the glass digging into his back.

He clucked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, language young man."

"You may be able to kill me, but Lily and Harry are far from here. Farther than your sorry ass can find," he said, praying it was true.

Voldemort's wand traced his cheek. "Now, now, no need to lie. I know for a fact that your red-haired wife is standing with your son in the nursery. I've blocked the floo and portkeys won't work. She's sealed in nice and safe."

Horror hit James' face and the man, despite the magical bounds, cursed Voldemort with a Blasting hex. Voldemort smiled as he was thrown back a few feet.

"This is far too simple," he mused lifting James off his feet and tightening the invisible bonds around his neck. "Alas, I fear any more time wasted with you will be hearing your pathetic pleas to spare you and your family and I've heard enough of those to last ten life-times."

"And whose fault is that?" James gasped out before the ropes tightened once more, causing his face to flush even more.

Voldemort let out a laugh. "I think I'll just let you hang there," the pressure released from his throat, "until I kill your child."

"NO! Settle this like men, you sniveling coward!" he shouted fighting as hard as he could.

"Would you like to know a secret?" Voldemort said suddenly, looking bored. James spat at him. The man arched his brow and wiped it off. "Your friend Pettigrew has been feeding me information until you made him your secret keeper."

The hazel eyes widened in horror.

"But he got all high and noble after that…seemed to think you wanted him around and cared about him." Voldemort laughed an evil smirk on his face. "It didn't take much to convince that pathetic rat of the truth." The Dark Lord shrugged. "Ah, well, have a good walk in hell, Potter."

The last thing James heard was an ear-piercing scream coming from the stairs as a green light headed towards him. Right before the light hit him he saw Lily, terrified but determined, gripping the banister, tears pouring down her face. He wanted to say he loved her, he wanted to be the hero but it was too late.

His mind went blank and James Potter was dead.

Lily's jaw snapped shut when she felt the blood-red eyes land on her. With a sharp turn she raced back into Harry's nursery and slammed the door, blocking it with Harry's Muggle changing station. Grabbing the bin of dirty diapers that she had yet to remove she hid next to the door, Harry watching her with interest, having no idea that his father was dead downstairs. She didn't have much time to think before the door was blasted open and Voldemort stepped in. Unluckily he grabbed it before she could bring it down on his head, luckily, however, the bin opened and he was assaulted with Harry's filthy, smelly diapers.

She jumped back and began tossing anything and everything at him she could, including the lamp and several of Harry's rubber toys. They hit him a few times but the enraged Dark Lord threw up a shield and Lily took a step back. Her wand, stupidly, was down in the kitchen where she left it. Living as a Muggle again she had forgotten to carry it around with her. Harry began to cry as the red-haired woman stood in front of her child.

"Give me the boy and I'll let you live." He growled, sending cleaning spells on himself, to rid him of the excrement.

Lily fumbled back and latched onto one of Harry's hard toys, one that made noise and such. "Do you really think I'd give up my son?" she twitched to left and he sent a curse as the toy hurtled towards him from the right.

It hit him square on the head. Grabbing a baseball bat (remembering for a brief second when James had bought it not knowing what it was) she slammed it into the window. Harry's wails became louder as the glass cracked but didn't shatter. The bat flew out of her hands and she turned, looking at the Dark Lord.

"No Harry, please…" she begged, tears welling up in her eyes.

It was hopeless. She had to get out but she couldn't. _James, Merlin, James I wish you were here…_ she thought silently.

The red eyes bore into her.

"Not Harry, please no, take me…kill me instead—" Lily wondered idly if that would work but her sentence, her pleads were cut off with a sharp _Crucio._

Having experienced this once before the familiar stabbing pain hit her and Lily found herself on the floor withering. It wasn't long before he released her. Staggering to her feet before he could advance on the crib she shook her head, tears flowing down her cheeks and her lip was bleeding from where she bit through it.

"Step aside girl and I'll spare you life."

"Not Harry, please! Have mercy! He's just a child…" Voldemort was inches from her now and Lily could feel her heart slam against her ribs. "Have mercy…" she whispered.

"Dark Lords don't _have_ mercy," he whispered before trying to throw her to the side.

In an instant Lily brought her knee up sharply, directly into his groin. He gasped in pain as she tried to shove him away. He staggered back slightly and the woman turned around grabbing her boy. She dodged around him and started for the door, saying something about 'love' when he raised his wand

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ he snarled.

The green light hit the red-haired woman in the back and she crumbled to the floor. The brat let out a loud scream as he fell a few feet from his mother. Voldemort straightened up with much difficulty and started down at the boy prophesized to destroy him. Large green eyes, filled with tears, were staring at him as he pointed his wand again.

There was something thick in the air that had started to make him choke. It was surrounding the impudent baby.

Another green light shot out of his wand and struck the small boy directly on the head. Voldemort's lips turned up in a triumphant smile for a moment before he realized the child was glowing, first the bight Avada Kedavra green, then a bright gold, then a soft blue, before the green light shot back at the sender.

Still in pure shock, the light hit him square in the chest and pain erupted in him. His soul was being tugged in several directions and instantly there was a loud thud. Comprehensive thoughts no longer existed, only darkness. And darkness surrounded the small one-year-old who was unconscious in the rubble of what was once Godric's Hollow.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

11:32 pm

Severus, for the first time since slipped unconscious, made a sound. It was a blood-curdling scream as the man curled around his left forearm, gripping it. His face was contorted with pain. Alexandria, who had been beside him checking his vitals for the second time that night, leapt back, startled. Her eyes were wide in shock and horror as he continued to scream. Jacob burst into the room just as the man went limp again.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" he asked his wand out.

Alexandria took a step back into her husband, her face as white as a sheet. "I don't know." She swallowed hard trying to get her bearings. "He was grabbing at his left arm."

Jacob went forward and moved up the man's sleeve ever so slowly. The Dark Mark was burning bright red but fading with every second that passed. "What does this mean?" he asked as they watched the Dark Mark fade nearly completely into that man's skin, leaving only a faint shadow of what it was.

"Jake…" she said softly, her eyes wide in wonder. "I think it means he's dead…"

He looked at his wife and then back at Severus. "Voldemort is dead?"

The mark tinged red for a moment before going to the dirt-gray color, blending into the skin almost non-existent.

"Stay with him." Jacob said before turning from the room.

Alexandria grabbed him by the arm. "I—" she stopped, worry on her face. They looked at each other for a moment (the absurd thought of being in a stupid movie flowing through her head) before she smiled at him. "I love you,"

He pressed his lips onto hers before hurrying away but not before saying: "Ditto," back.

She looked back at the man who had slipped back into unconsciousness. Something was wrong and she couldn't put her finger on it.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

November 5, 1981

Alexandria watched as the fifth bottle of fire whiskey was opened and had started making its rounds in the Order of the Phoenix headquarters. Politely declining as the bottle was held out to her, she looked towards the door. Her husband looked just as dower as she felt. The celebrations of the death of Voldemort had been going on since Halloween. She didn't think that night would leave her thoughts for the rest of her life. Sensing her thoughts, Jacob drew her to him, his arms around her waist comfortingly.

"Beth is sleeping just fine," he whispered in her ear. "So is the patient."

The red-head grimaced but didn't say anything. They still hadn't broken the news to their daughter that Sirius Black had betrayed them all. For the first time since Halloween, the last night she ever saw Sirius, Bethany had asked about him today, not understanding why she was instantly hushed and sent away. The small girl was confused but understood when she had to be silenced.

Severus had been unconscious for three days and the moment he woke and heard the news he had tried to get out of bed to see Dumbledore. He didn't make it three steps before collapsing (nearly taking Alexandria down with him.) When Dumbledore came by later the conversation was a long one and the man hadn't spoke a word to anyone since. Not even Bethany.

"Alex," the woman jumped, startled by the voice before remembering she was in her husband's arms. He sighed and drew her away from the party and up the stairs. Once safely in their bedroom with silencing spells on the room, Jacob sat her down on the bed. "Your mind has been elsewhere ever since the first,"

She swallowed hard, staring at her hands, which were entwined with her husbands. "I…I don't want to say what I think," Alexandria admitted. "It's so much to take in,"

Jacob didn't need to say that he agreed with her, it showed clearly on her face. In the last five days everything seemed to be turned upside down, not only for them but for everyone. The entirety of the wizarding world was ecstatic that Voldemort was gone but anyone that knew the Marauder's personally felt the exact opposite position. Remus had more or less disappeared after Sirius and Peter. When asked about, Dumbledore would only respond 'He needs to be off on his own for a while to deal with the situation.'

"Jake?" Alexandria snapped her fingers in front of him. "Don't take lessons from me, the last thing Beth needs is another person who barely listens to the world going on around them," He snorted. "What do you think?"

He sighed looking away. "Sirius would never have betrayed Harry and Lily, let alone James." a tear fell down his wife's cheek. "Something was wrong the moment Severus saw Peter. Remus knew he was suspected and chose to keep his distance from the Marauders but…" Jacob trailed off, unable to continue. "I can't sort it out,"

They were in silence for several long moments before there was a small rapping on the door. "Come in," Alexandria said taking down the silencing spells. The rapping continued. Befuddled, she opened the door and Bethany stood outside of it, looking lost, tear stains on her cheeks. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" she asked sweeping the three-year-old into her arms.

The little girl sniffed, more tears falling from her brown eyes. "Snape lef," she hiccupped, her hand making a tiny fist around a section of Alexandria's shirt.

Jacob blinked before half racing out of the room. True to Bethany's word the room where he had left Severus Snape moments ago was empty, the bed freshly made and the small stuffed animal that Bethany loved carrying around sat in front of the pillows. The panther with glowing coal eyes. Taking the animal, he made his way back to their room, hearing his wife trying to calm their child down from the hallway.

"Will 'e com bak?" Bethany asked with large eyes, two wet rivers still streaming from them. "'E not gon lik my oth-ter mommy?"

"I don't know, sweetheart," she whispered, wishing she understood why the man had left.

He sat down on the bed, his arm around his wife. "Would you like me to contact Dumbledore, see if he knows were Severus went?" Jacob asked softly.

Alexandria didn't answer.

Five minutes later Bethany was asleep, the remains of tears still on her face.

"Go," His wife looked up at him, a hardness in her eyes. "And while you're there tell Dumbledore we're taking our daughter home."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

November 6, 1981

9:41 am

Alexandria stood in the Headmaster's office, awaiting the final preparations. Her daughter was fast asleep in her arms, the small girl clutching the panther under her arm. One trunk with over a dozen locks, magically enhanced trunk of course, sat in front of her. The nervous excitement when Jacob returned bubbled in the air.

They were going home.

After nearly two years of being in England, and a year of waiting to take Bethany they were finally going _home_.

Shifting Bethany's weight, she felt a smile brush her lips, her husband setting the last of the items they had in England in the top compartment of the trunk. His eyes danced with anticipation as he waved his wand at the trunk, its size reducing to that of a match box. He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"He's coming,"

"Does he know where Severus disappeared to?" she asked quietly. Bethany moaned slightly and clutched the panther tighter, as if she knew what they were talking about even in her sleepy state.

Jacob grimaced. "He says that when he is ready, Severus will contact us."

Alexandria frowned. "And that's it? We just wait for him to contact us? What are we supposed to tell Bethany?" her voice slowly raised in volume

Her daughter moved. "Mummy?" she murmured, blinking slowly. Anger left Alexandria quicker than water from a dam. "Mommy, iz Sever-uz bak?"

Brushing Bethany's hair away from the small child's face she sighed. "Not sweetie, he's not." She shifted the brunette's weight once again on her him. Bethany mumbled something before drifting back to sleep. "I don't like this," she said with a pointed glare as Dumbledore came in holding a watch.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully. "It'll take you to the field near your house," he handed over the portkey.

Jacob nodded and took a hold of his wife. Alexandria's eyes met her husband's as they activated the portkey; Bethany's words finally sinking in for the two of them

She called Alexandria 'mommy.'


End file.
